Lots of fun ahead - 2010 closes with a sense of anticipation

Two weekends ago, we found out our second baby will be a boy. No name yet. Due to arrive sometime around April 29, 2011.

Last weekend my brother asked his girlfriend, Lauren Rose Cast, to marry him. I am ecstatic with his decision; I love Lauren and it's great to see that Graham does too. For the record, Pat thinks she's pretty cool too.

Several friends and acquaintances are having babies around the same time as Baby Boy 2. Spring will simply be bursting with new life.

My mom is coming for a long weekend in January - to help me finish a quilt I started for Graham's big boy bed (pictures will come later).

We received confirmation that Trex decking will give us money to redo our back deck ... cash instead of material means we can pick another type of material if we choose ... and I have an idea man in my back pocket.

Pat has started finishing up projects around the house which makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.

I planted a bunch of tulip and daffodil bulbs in the front yard, and the fall/winter season has been cold so far - here's to lots of color and green to celebrate our "new arrival."

Graham is potty trained! Still an accident here and there, but no more poopy diapers!

I haven't been pessimistic or focusing on the bad, but it sure is nice to have so much to be excited for in 2011.

Moments like these ...

Graham just woke up in a fright ... standing in his crib crying for Mommy. At first I was worried he might have vomited or might be sick - it was a fast-paced, frantic cry, but after a quick temperature reading (thank you Braun for your easy thermometer) we figured he must have had a scary dream. He asked for the sun, and we told him it was still sleeping time, and Pat turned off the hall lights and stepped out while I started singing my sweet mellow songs - a comfort to both of us:: Oh Shenandoah, The Water Is Wide, Be Thou My Vision, Hold Me Jesus, Jesus Lover of My Soul ... I rocked and sang.

Then I hummed ... then I stopped. And put my feet up and kept rocking. After a few moments he opened his eyes and he looked at me then closed them. They fluttered one more time, and then I had time in my hands. He hasn't slept in my arms in so long. And he doesn't let me snuggle him for more than a few precious moments. When I hold him at the end of the night, he ends it and asks me to put him in bed. But tonight he rested with me, and he gave me time. And revel I did. With relish and relief.

I wonder at the peace he feels with me - his Mommy. I sat still, I shifted, I sighed, I stroked his head and I remembered how it felt to sit in that chair almost 2 years ago doing the same thing to help him into sleep. I wondered then and I wonder now at the wonder of life - how we start so small and we bring with us so much joy and amazement and we see the world with so much joy and amazement ...

I know there will be several days/week/months before this moment arrives again - if it does. And if it does, I know he'll fit on my lap differently then.

I once read a children's book (I think it was written more for the moms than the kids) about a Mommy who treasured every precious moment as if it were the last:: the last kiss in public, the last handmade card, the last bear hug when she was still able to envelop him in her arms. And I think about that. And I treasure, and I relish the wonder.

I quietly put him back into bed and as I felt him settle in, he cried out once, Mommy? "I'm here ..." I said as I rubbed his back ... and I stayed, and breathed him in. And then I wrapped my mind softly around the memory and walked back into passing time.

I love you, baby.

33 years old - an elevenses birthday!

And again, it has been three months since our last post. I have no comments, other than to say I am the mother to an active toddler, also carrying a part-time job, and keeping busy fending off a developing passion for knitting.

Today I turn 33 years old. I came downstairs this morning to a birthday card in Graham's highchair (from Graham) and one slid under my laptop (from Pat). Nice touch, guys. I felt uber-special and loved from my special men. Thanks to those of you who have sent along greetings. And to my brother Andy, the words on your blog made my day shine (although many of the IDs pictured made me cringe!).

Possibly the biggest birthday gift I have received is that over the last 8 days, we have had about 7 occasions where Graham's "poops" have gone into the toilet and not into his diaper! We've only had two sessions involving successful peeing in the toilet, but man, I will count my blessings - I would prefer to have to change less messy diapers any day!! For the record, this wasn't even something I mentioned; it all came from Graham's inclinations, and this I accredit to God saying to Himself ... "hmmm - let's see -- what will Molly really be surprised by this year, and what will she be just thrilled to have happen?" Well thanks God, you really got me on this one, and I am loving it!!

Graham is starting to count on his fingers (not even close to being right, but preciously inaccurate). He is counting in both English and Spanish; for this we can thank his teachers at school. He asks to pray for his teacher Jessica every time we mention praying, and will often asks us to pray for her out of the blue - he folds his hands, earnestly looks up at us, and shakes his hands, saying, Ettica, Ettica, Ettica, Ettica! We reply by opening up our prayer to Jesus, praying about what's going on with a little prayer for Jessica, and then we close our prayer in Jesus name. I do admit a secret "concern" that he may grow up thinking that Jesus is a short nickname for Jessica. Funny kid. Heart of gold.

Pat goes to San Diego for a work-related conference on Sunday. My mom and brother will be here part of the time he is gone, and Graham will spend Monday and Tuesday with them while I am at work. He calls my mom "M-nom-nee" which is his interpretation of Grandmother. I know he's looking forward to his time with them - I sure am!

See you around ...

On our sick kiddo ...

This weekend we had a sick toddler. It is the first time Graham has been this sick - high fever and waking in the nighttime. It's also been a new step in my realizations that I am the Mommy now ... it makes me remember how good it felt to have my Mom next to me, to just be near her, or - even better - in her arms when I was feeling icky sicky. Actually, this is what first triggered my mommy-instinct that something might be amiss ... constant up-up-up, Mommy Mommy Mommy, and long-lasting snuggles and shoulder-head-resting from a boy who can't sit still on my lap for longer than 2 min.

Although it has been really hard seeing him unhappy (and his nose is so snotty!), it has been great for me to see that Graham has a special connection with me. We are also working to make sure he understands that Daddy is comforting too. This works out well for everyone ... it contributes to Graham's learning that Daddy is safe and "home" too, gives Pat the opportunity to comfort, and gives me a few hours off!

[I do have to say, what a kiddo! Look at the smile on his face above ... this is the attitude he has had the majority of the time he's been feeling icky. This year has been amazing as we've been watching elements of his little personality coming to light!]

Other highlights from this weekend - Graham now knows about football. If he sees it on TV he says FOOTBALL!! This does come out a bit more like BOO-BAH!! But with the enthusiasm in his voice and on his face, we know he's talking about football. Yes, this does come from his mommy and daddy. He also says "Touchdown!" but this requires a bit more coaching.

While we're on the topic, Graham also now knows about TV. We had been doing a pretty good job of keeping it pretty low-key, but now after a few times watching with family, he says Tee-bee-Tee-bee-a-bee and points to the TV as if to say, can we turn that thing on again? Although, I have noticed that it seems that watching football is different than watching other stuff. Very good. As it should be, I suppose.

I'm working on updating our Shutterfly site, and will have all pics updated soon. I will also be posting Christmas pictures here too.

If you're wondering if you might have been left off our Christmas card list, please stop wondering. You were not left off - we simply did not send cards this year ... it was an "off" season for us, but we are looking forward to sending one next year!!

Just watched the movie Bella; not what you'd expect, but lovely. Feeling deeply introspective; maybe it's the music [what a soundtrack] or the beauty of the story, and the rich love of Jose's family... or the realization/recollection of the depth and meaning a child brings to life. I just find myself pausing and wanting to record my thoughts.

Oh ~ for the ability to capture my thoughts! They are here and so meaningful, and then they flit away the very next moment:: an idea to make marriage more meaningful, a tradition I'd love to establish, a thought about pursuing meaning in life, the balance between comfort and conserving -

It seems I'm so quickly on to the next thing ... the next "urgent" thing - how many important things am I missing? How do I capture the ideas I have had, these ideas that might lead me to identifying emotions, and the meaning behind them?

Now distancing myself from the immediacy of that emotion, I see ... I do know; I know I need space and time. This is something I need to learn to give to myself; I need to learn how to find.

Now, I am going to go take a bath. Good night. And God, I love you still, and deeply fully wholeheartedly.