I just got overwhelmingly tired. Perhaps I was slightly tired earlier (looking at the kitchen right now would exhaust anyone), but I think it got worse when I opened my Comcast inbox. This is the e-mail address I use when I sign up for new accounts or make online purchases. I haven't checked this box since early last week (meaning it was full of Black Friday & Cyber Monday deals). Oh man was I ever overwhelmed by great deals. Sweaters 50% off! Join this site and get 5 miles for every $1 spent. Buy tomorrow and get double points!
For a moment I was swayed, and I thought, yes, I need points! Yes, I need miles, and sweaters! And matching mother-daughter aprons (oh wait I don't have a daughter)! Wait - who was offering points, or miles, or, or ... And how many points do I already have - banked up for that special occasion that still hasn't happened?
And then I named it: Consumerism. When my wants become needs ... and really, they never were my wants in the first place.
And now I'm feeling tired, and overwhelmed. I want to revel in the joy of the season. Maybe I can look at this picture [above], to remind me of joy, contentment, and simplicity (and a wonderful husband who wears a Bjorn!). It was storming in the background, and we knew it was coming our way and we had to drive through it to get home, but where we were in that moment, it was sunny, still, and slow. A family day.
When I think of one thing to do, my list grows to 10, then 15. But again, they're not really needs. In the mornings, I'm trying to take 5 minutes (even that can be hard) after my shower to sit and be quiet, and listen. I need to add rejoicing to the list. God, thank you for sending your son, JESUS! To be born in messy, humble circumstances, to a teenager and her new husband. To live a perfect life, and teach those who struggled to see who He was ... and to die a criminal's death.
And now, somehow, I feel stronger - ready to go upstairs and read stories and sing songs, and give Graham "two dreams." And then, I'll come down and clean my dinner mess, wash pump parts, and go to sleep myself. Thank you God, thank you Jesus ... and Spirit, continue to grant me strength.
