GT Rank & Family

Mmmm cookies

2012-01-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

I just made the most amazing cookie recipe, and I thought you would love it too! It's from Super Natural Cooking, a new cookbook I got for Christmas from my new sister-in-law, Lauren. The recipe calls for mesquite flour, which sounds totally intriguing [slightly sweet & chocolatey flavor with a touch of malt and smokiness], but I couldn't find it at any of the health food stores around here. So I made it with all whole-wheat pastry flour, based on the author's advice for my situation. And they were incredible. Two cups of oats! All whole-wheat pastry flour!

I can't imagine how they'd taste with the new flour, but since I'm intrigued, I am going for it! I just grabbed the cookbook to special order some mesquite flour (here's where I purchased from), and since I'm at my computer, I thought I'd share the recipe with you. I think the raw cane sugar really makes it. I used turbinado sugar, and it seems that the sugar crystals retained their structure and snap, which makes for a fun experience in the mouth.

2.5 c. whole-wheat pastry flour

1 c. mesquite flour, sifted if clumpy

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. aluminum-free baking powder

3/4 tsp. fine-grain sea salt (I used celtic sea salt from Wh. Foods)

1 c. unsalted butter at room temp

2 c. natural cane sugar

3 large eggs

1 Tbsp. pure vanilla extract

2 c. rolled oats

2 c. semisweet chocolate chips

Whip the butter first, then add eggs one at a time, then the sugar and beat until it's like thick frosting. I think the key to my success may have been whipping the butter - I mixed at the highest setting on my Kitchen Aid ... for quite some time, and I wonder if that helps to make them light and airy. Seems to make sense. Mix the dry ingredients (without oats) separately and add in three batches, then add oats and chips by hand - but don't overmix!

Bake at 375 for 10 minutes - she says, don't overbake, if anything underbake them.

YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!!

Oh and the author has a blog: http://www.101cookbooks.com/

Enjoy!!

Meanderings ...

2011-11-30T19:29:00.000-08:00

I just got overwhelmingly tired. Perhaps I was slightly tired earlier (looking at the kitchen right now would exhaust anyone), but I think it got worse when I opened my Comcast inbox. This is the e-mail address I use when I sign up for new accounts or make online purchases. I haven't checked this box since early last week (meaning it was full of Black Friday & Cyber Monday deals). Oh man was I ever overwhelmed by great deals. Sweaters 50% off! Join this site and get 5 miles for every $1 spent. Buy tomorrow and get double points!

For a moment I was swayed, and I thought, yes, I need points! Yes, I need miles, and sweaters! And matching mother-daughter aprons (oh wait I don't have a daughter)! Wait - who was offering points, or miles, or, or ... And how many points do I already have - banked up for that special occasion that still hasn't happened?

And then I named it: Consumerism. When my wants become needs ... and really, they never were my wants in the first place.

And now I'm feeling tired, and overwhelmed. I want to revel in the joy of the season. Maybe I can look at this picture [above], to remind me of joy, contentment, and simplicity (and a wonderful husband who wears a Bjorn!). It was storming in the background, and we knew it was coming our way and we had to drive through it to get home, but where we were in that moment, it was sunny, still, and slow. A family day.

When I think of one thing to do, my list grows to 10, then 15. But again, they're not really needs. In the mornings, I'm trying to take 5 minutes (even that can be hard) after my shower to sit and be quiet, and listen. I need to add rejoicing to the list. God, thank you for sending your son, JESUS! To be born in messy, humble circumstances, to a teenager and her new husband. To live a perfect life, and teach those who struggled to see who He was ... and to die a criminal's death.

And now, somehow, I feel stronger - ready to go upstairs and read stories and sing songs, and give Graham "two dreams." And then, I'll come down and clean my dinner mess, wash pump parts, and go to sleep myself. Thank you God, thank you Jesus ... and Spirit, continue to grant me strength.

2011-09-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

I missed my dad yesterday. I was driving between preschool and daycare and had a few moments in the car and lots on my mind, and I thought, "I'll call Dad - I know he'd love to hear from me." Before I knew it, I was playing for myself how he would answer the phone, and I was picturing the selfless smile on his face. It took me a while to realize that I couldn't do it. This is the first time in a long time that I have missed him like this. And I think it's the first time since the accident that I could remember things about him so clearly and crisply.

After that, of course, I thought about him all day - all the things I wish I could share with him, all the things I wish I could do with him, and replaying his chuckles and smiles over and over. And I contemplated the timing ... how we can go so long in between "missings," and I think about how my mom has told me that she still misses her dad and wishes she could call him up to chat. He was 96 when he died in 2006. If she still misses him and he still seems so fresh in her thoughts, then I'm glad to know that my dad will still come up in my memory - that he will still feel like a relevant presence. I hope he can feel us too and see our joys and sorrows from heaven. We miss you here, Dad!

We're still here - and kicking!

2011-08-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

Summer!! I love berries. I love sun. I love zucchini and yellow squash and farmers' markets. I love boys whose naps match. I can deal with 80-95 degree weather, especailly now that we have air conditioning. I love Graham outside running around talking to the bees, checking on the frog in our sprinkler box, and calling me over to watch him eat a pea pod. I love Caleb's chubby little legs kicking as speckles of sun break through the shadows of the aspens. I don't love weeding, but I did get a little done today. And pat got some done yesterday. Summer, please stay.

Our tickets to see Wait Wait Don't Tell Me ("the oddly informative news quiz") just arrived in the mail. I am really excited - I am a fan of Carl Kassel and I get a huge kick out of their approach to the weekly news. I'm looking forward to actually seeing the show that I've only heard so many times until now.

Caleb has successfully taken a bottle two consecutive nights in a row - go Pat! We have a lot of time to make up for, and I'm so thankful for my husband's willingness to get up in the middle of the night. (I guess I feel like it's just part of life for me to have to feed Caleb - the milk comes from my body after all - so when Pat sacrifices his sleep to feed him, I really feel like he's taking one for the team (especially if you know how hard Pat sleeps).)

Graham starts at Montessori school on September 6. That's my first week back at work, so it will be a good start for both of us. Actually his first day is August 31, for a two hour orientation session. He will attend 4 days, and I think I'm going to be able to work my schedule out so I can pick him up by 4 every day. I'm looking forward to seeing how he grows and learns in this new environment.

Caleb also starts daycare on September 6. I think we'll just do a short day that first day. Let him get the hang of things ... eating, sleeping, pooping - you know ... Technically I don't work on Tuesdays, but I'm planning to go in for a short day to ease myself into the routine (and so I don't just spend the day missing Caleb and Graham).

Oh! Over the past couple of months we have been insanely busy. It's really nice to have a few days back at home to find quiet and rhythm again. For the curious (and so I can look back in a few months when I wonder where the summer went), here's a short snippet:

April 26 - Caleb's arrival! Mom came within 2 days of his arrival to help out - thanks Mom!
May 20-22 - Andrew & Lauren in town
June 10-13 - Wisconsin for a long weekend - family wedding and Pat's parents' 40th anniversary.
June 16-20 - Mom comes to visit, and Andrew & Lauren in town, co-hosted wedding shower on Saturday.
July 1-4 - Boise with Andrew & Lauren
July 12 - Cousin Caitlin arrives ... to do life with us and help out for a couple of weeks.
July 19 - Cousin Brittany arrives to spend a couple of days before the wedding.
July 20-24 - The girls all head to Seattle with Caleb & Graham - Pat arrives on Friday.
July 23 - Andrew and Lauren get married in one of the most BEautiful ceremonies I've been a part of. If you want more info, see these links: video / friend's blog post
July 28 - Caitlin leaves :(
August 9-14 - I drove to Boise on Tuesday with the boys and Lazslow. Pat flew in Friday morning, and Andrew & Lauren flew in Friday night. Mom hosted a great reception on Saturday evening.
August 17-21 - SunRiver, OR with friends. A relaxing trip - lots of kids, lots of laughs, and great moments of authenticity.

So you can see, it's good to be home, and I think it will feel really nice to return to work. Routine is comfortable to me. Finding it will be interesting, but I do see God's grace in the timing (such as those listed before the list above). And really, could we have planned it any better? What a great time to have maternity leave! I've been out of work for the entire summer - May through August, and I return to work the same day school starts again. And I was able to spend several days touring my cousins around our fair and wonderful city and surroundings - one of my favorite things to do. I do feel a bit of sovereignty coming in here.

Sharing a few pics to highlight our summer ...

Saying "yes" to the mundane

2011-07-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

I just read today in a Focus on the Family magazine for families (Thriving Family) that as parents we should try to say "yes" to our children whenever we can.

"Say yes to your children whenever you can. Only say no when you have to - when the issue has to do with safety or growing their character, for example. This reflects God's heart. Ask them to do things that are reasonable and for their good, and be prepared to give them the reasons when they're old enough to understand. This, too, reflects God: everything He tells us to do is reasonable and for our good. This approach to obedience helps children realize as they grow older that God isn't arbitrary or a killjoy. From your example they will begin to see that God's way is the best way."

I find that I often say "no" because something isn't convenient for me, or because I don't have the time to stand there and laugh when Graham does something silly. Today, though, I asked myself, is this a Yes or No ... and I chose Yes. And I helped my little boy put on bright pink dish gloves and watched him stand there, as he chuckled at his little mitten hands. I treasured the moment with him, and then moved him on to another activity. But it was a conscious Yes. A conscious welcoming of a moment that passes too quickly for him and for me. I like the idea of allowing him - even helping him - to do things that not only are permissible because they don't harm his body or character, but also give him a sense of wonder or bring humor. And I hope I can continue.

Live in Wonder

2011-06-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

(Mary Anne Radmacher, click here to purchase)

This poem has been coming to mind more frequently than normal. I count the cause to be the two little blessings currently sacked out upstairs.

I originally saw this poem as a vision of romantic love. I purchased it from the Mary Anne Radmacher store in Cannon Beach, OR several years ago ... I hung it in Pat's bedroom just before he arrived to live in Washington. I still see it as a vision of romantic love, but since then, my understanding of endless love has grown.

Since our marriage, it has occupied many different locations in our home. Most recently, I added it to the guest bathroom around the time we painted it yellow in anticipation of Graham's arrival. I look at it while I am perched on the edge of the bathtub grumbling internally as Graham asks me to read him another book while he goes potty. I look at it while I'm brushing his teeth ... washing his hands ... and after I put them both to sleep.

Think on these things and tell me if they don't [at least somewhat] adequately describe the wonderful transformation that occurs in the heart of a parent:

I didn't know I would hold you so dearly ...

I want to still the waters while you enjoy the image of your boundless curiosity ...

... your enduring promise ...

... all beginnings and all exquisite ends.

Getting used to life with two ...

2011-05-31T10:49:00.000-07:00

Life has been interesting lately in our Rank household. Lots of screams ... from two boys fighting for attention. Not fighting against each other, thankfully - no, it seems that they're fighting together as if by requesting more, more might become available. Kind of like how a woman's body knows to produce more milk when more is requested.

Caleb has a strong cry that ramps surprisingly quickly to a blood-curdling scream. Blood-curdling, this is a gross word that seems strangely appropriate ... if you've seen what happens when something curdles, it's certainly not pretty. True to his character, there have only been two times in the car when Graham has said, "Stop it, Stop it, STOP IT!" to Caleb ... the other times he seems to quietly deal with it in his own way - singing or talking to the characters from the books he reads, singing to Caleb, or just gazing off into space. It's neat to see the roots of Graham's character here - it helps me to understand that the other "acting out" episodes we are having may just be par for the course as he tests and learns how to interact with others.

My biggest struggle right now is trying to figure out how to time getting out of the house to accomplish errands - or get to preschool with an element of sanity remaining. Caleb eats in the morning right before I get breakfast together for Graham, and he's ready to go to sleep for his nap before Graham is done eating. Unfortunately he doesn't transfer easily to the carseat. If I let him sleep in his bed which I prefer to do, then he's not up and fed again until 11:30 .. and this is the best time to feed Graham to have him down for his nap at 12:30. Napping G later is an option, but it makes for an ugly evening and a desperate wife begging her husband to hurry home. I am thankful for preschool which forces me to figure out a way to get out and gives me a couple of [short] hours to knock out a few to-dos. I am also thankful Caleb does eventually fall asleep and usually stays asleep for his full nap. These are my silver linings.

For the record, I do remember things begin to settle in a bit more at 6 weeks. That's not so far away - I can wait ... not hoping for too much I hope. I do try to be realistic .....

As if things inside the house weren't interesting enough, another rabbit has taken up residence under our back deck. Lazslow cannot find a moment of rest while the rabbit's scent lingers. In and out, out and in, barking, moaning, wagging, dancing, licking the deck, smelling for it even from inside the sliding glass door. We certainly have had our share of critter interactions - to wit, some of you may remember the squirrel I trapped a few years ago (story) ... Lazslow took the tail off another squirrel, and last fall we found evidence that yet another squirrel had taken up residence in our shed (icky squirrel poop combined with tooth marks into our bone meal and peat moss).

Pat's solution this time is the best so far - he is installing chicken wire along the perimeter of the deck foundation ... burying it a few inches into the ground to frustrate even the most valiant of rabbits. But while this project has been started, the finish will be delayed until we complete the install of our new deck. In the meantime, we get to watch this tiny critter (much smaller than you'd expect) out nibbling the grass. I wish I could convince him to nibble all the leftover crocus greens, but apparently he only likes crocus flowers (!).

Here is G getting his hair cut at Li'l Snippers down the street. Now I know the secret to keeping him calm and still for the clippers is watching Toy Story ... too bad we don't have a TV in the bathroom!

Getting bigger! I think he grew again last night during an extra long early evening sleep.

This is the wallpaper on my phone right now - taken by my friend Alli at the library.

Finally, Caleb's birth story

2011-05-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

After work on Monday 4/25 - the day before delivering (the night labor started).

At the hospital, walking around trying to get things to happen more quickly ...

This is where it all went down!

I finally have a few moments to sit and write with both hands, so here's the birth story. I suppose I apologize for the length, but maybe not really, because it's been cathartic, and it will be nice for Caleb to read some day.

Labor started in the middle of the night. Coming back to bed after a bathroom run at 12:30 am, I realized I was having regular contractions. I got so excited I decided to start counting minutes between the pains. Looking back, this was rather foolish since the contractions were relatively easy, and I probably could have slept through them. But I was so excited, and coming at things from such an analytical perspective, I couldn't help but study my body's rhythm.

At some point, Pat and I gathered up the last few items to be added to my "bag," so we could make a run for the hospital when we needed to. Then Pat went back to sleep while I sat up recording minutes.

Finally at about 2:30, Pat suggested I should lay down and try to rest. I did ... and slept for about an hour and a half. Then I woke up around 4:30 and found contractions were about 5.5 minutes apart.

Remembering that my labor with Graham had lasted only 8 hours, we figured we should head to the hospital. We woke Graham around 5:30 and carried him over to the neighbor's house. We told him we were going to the hospital where baby Caleb would come out of Mommy's tummy, and that Daddy would come back and pick him up to meet baby Caleb.

When we got to the hospital they took us to an Assessment room where they found me to be 3 cm dilated. Contractions had slowed to 6 min. My good friend Nicole showed up then. The midwife didn't want to admit me yet, and suggested that I walk around the hospital for a while to see how I progressed. After walking for about an hour and a half, contractions got to be 2.5 minutes apart, and stayed that way until we got back to the Assessment room. But when I laid down for the monitoring, contractions slowed to 6 minutes. I had progressed to 4 cm dilation and 60% effacement.

Apparently 4 cm wasn't enough for the midwife's liking, and she said she was still concerned about admitting me because I might not be progressing fast enough ... she thought I would be more comfortable laboring at home. That did sound attractive to me; I was concerned that I didn't have enough sleep and rest in my system, and might tire too quickly during the labor process.

Looking back, it was definitely advantageous for the midwife - she was at the end of a 24 hour shift that had included a delivery at the other hospital ... and I had declined a pelvic exam at my last prenatal appointment, so she had no way of knowing where I was to start, or how quickly I had progressed to 3 cm that morning. I'm not sure that it was advantageous for me.

We left the hospital around 8:20 am, and came directly home where I laid on the couch and Pat worked on the computer. Contractions stayed about 6.5 minutes apart, but started to become MUCH more intense. I realized I was in more pain than I had been with Graham, and I wanted to be in the birthing pool. So we started to head back to the hospital - we made it back at around 11:35 am. At this point, my hands and feet were getting numb and my hands were actually stuck in a weird claw position ... Pat had to bring me in with a wheelchair.

They took me to the Assessment room again, and found that I was measuring 7 cm, stretchy to 9 cm. Nicole showed up about 10 minutes after we entered the Assessment room, allowing Pat to park the car. A few minutes after he came back, my body shifted gears and all of a sudden it was time to push. It happened so quickly. Suddenly, the room was full of people. As Pat so eloquently put it: "If I'd wanted to vomit, there would have been no place to vomit! I would have had to vomit on Molly!"

Later I found out the midwife was sprinting across the parking lot while all of this was happening (not the same midwife, this was a new shift). She barely made it to see the last couple of pushes. The hospital staff were a bit disorganized; not fully prepared to deliver in this tiny room with limited supplies. Someone found a hand mirror, which really helped me with the pushing process. Having assisted with two deliveries, I knew what I was seeing as Caleb crowned, and it was really encouraging to watch my progress.

It's easy to look back and wish things had been different. I wish I had pushed more slowly, and I wish I had been more in control of my mental faculties. But I know that the body takes over, and the mind goes into a special zone. I heard so many voices saying, "push him out!" ... I saw how little progress I seemed to be making ... and I knew I wasn't leaving that room or getting rid of all those people until I had the baby in my arms - and oh, how I wanted to have him in my arms!

So ... I shifted onto my side, and pushed hard. After 20 minutes of pushing, I watched as he slid out of me and was swooped directly onto my chest. We were both surprised. I can still visualize his arms flailing the first instant he was out, and I can hear his healthy screams - these are precious memories.

Even though the experience was less than desired, here are the fleeting blessings I want to remember from that day. I am thankful that ...

- although I wasn't able to receive him out of the water, the student midwife placed him immediately on my chest - no waiting required.

- in the midst of all the chaos (and possibly because of it), Pat decided to cut the cord. He had been kind of put off by the idea at Graham's birth - it was neat to hear him say, "Well, why not." Perhaps he felt like it was in keeping with the tone of the day.

- the senior water birth nurse was among the first to arrive - she helped to ease the tone and calm the excitement in the room. She is also the one who located the hand mirror which was my source of motivation in pushing.

- Nicole stood beside me and held my hand the entire time my tear was being mended (Pat was watching what the nurses were doing with Caleb).

Last, I find myself thankful that I have two completely different but equally wonderful and miraculous birth experiences.

Caleb is now a healthy four week old. Graham gives him sweet gentle hugs and likes to interpret his cries for me (from the backseat I hear, "Wah Wah, I want my mommy's milk!" and "Wah Wah, I have a burp in my tummy!"). Caleb is alert, eats well, and is learning to sleep well. He was smaller than Graham, so I've enjoyed nestling his tiny little body on my chest, under my chin ... I treasure these moments because I remember how quickly they pass.

Love you all.

Paring Down Our Library

2011-05-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe "our" library isn't the best reference ... perhaps it's more appropriate to say, "my" library since I know Pat wouldn't claim these and he is part of the impetus to decrease ths size of the library.

Here are the books, let me know if you are interested in any, and I'll set them aside for the next time I see you. Asking price? $2.00 each, open to negotiation, of course. Unless otherwise specified, they are all paperback.

If you live somewhere other than Portland or Boise and you want a few of these, we can work out shipping. Otherwise, I'll take them to Powell's or the Salvation Army.

The Devil Wears Prada, Lauren Weisberger

(2) The Confessions of Max Tivoli, Andrew Sean Greer

The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread, Don Robertson (I love this book! This is an extra copy)

A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

Cliffs Notes for A Tale of Two Cities, Charles Dickens

Out, Natsu Kirino

Beyond the Sky and the Earth, A Journey Into Bhutan, Jamie Zeppa

Circle of Friends, Maeve Binchy

The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

On Mexican Time, Tony Cohan

The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini

I Know This Much Is True, Wally Lamb

The Professor and the Madman, Simon Winchester (hardcover)

Leap of Faith, Queen Noor

(2) Till We Have Faces, C.S. Lewis

Back When We Were Grownups, Anne Tyler

The Awakening, Kate Chopin

The Reader, Bernhard Schlink

Visiting life, Women Doing Time on the Outside, Bridget Kinsella (hardcover)

Unless, Carol Shields

The Pillars Of the Earth, Ken Follett

The Namesake, Jhumpa Larihi

What is the What, Dave Eggers

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou

Infidel, Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Schlepping Through the Alps, Sam Apple (hardcover)

Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich

Love In the Time of Cholera, Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Message In a Bottle, Nicholas Sparks (hardcover)

The Testament, John Grisham

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson

Women Who Run With the Wolves, Myths and Stories of the Wild Women Archetype, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert

The Mermaid Chair, Sue Monk Kidd

The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Revolution, Ron Paul

(2) Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, Dai Sijie

The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls

To the Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf

The Hundred Secret Senses, Amy Tan

(TAKEN) My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picoult

The Christmas Box Collection (The Christmas Box, Timepiece, The Letter), Richard Paul Evans

One Thousand White Women, Jim Fergus

White Oleander, Janet Fitch

Three Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

The Inheritance of Loss, Kiran Desai

(TAKEN) The Memory Keeper's Daughter, Kim Edwards

Immortality, Milan Kundera

Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

The Secret Scripture, Sebastian Barry

The Kindness of Strangers, Edited by Don George (Lonely Planet)

Three by Annie Dillard (Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, An American Childhood, The Writing Life), Annie Dillard

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers

Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe

Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi

The Double, Jose Saramago

Snow Flower And the Secret Fan, Lisa See

Other books:

Home Buying for Dummies

The Idiots Guide to the Perfect Marriage (a wedding present)

Ten Secrets for the Man in the Mirror, Patrick Morley

8 days old ...

2011-05-05T20:48:00.001-07:00

Little Caleb Joel is 8 days old today. Hard to believe the whole birth thing happened a week ago. With Graham, I was six days late, which means, I suppose, that if Caleb had waited as long, he would have been born today (Cinco de Mayo, no less). I'm glad he didn't wait. Although the birth experience might have been slightly less than ideal, it was fast, and he's healthy. Can't ask for much more than that.

Here are a few recent pics. Birth story to follow, as I get it written down per our recollection.

It is quite possible that - for me - the "icing" on the proverbial parenting "cake" is ...

2011-03-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

... Lazslow, who stands just close enough to me that his tail taps on my thigh incessantly - tapping out all the messages he sends to me each day:

I'm here! Did you notice me? I think I can talk- just listen. Food now. I can get there faster than you can, wherever you're going - let's race! just watch me go! Out now! Pet my butt. SQUIRREL! In now! Oh wait, out again!

I love my dog, he's good to me and I feel safer with him around. But I do think it's safe to call him the icing on the cake. Or would it be more precise to say, the straw on the donkey's back?

34 weeks, and this may be the only pregnant picture we have!

2011-03-20T22:30:00.001-07:00

This is a picture in front of our finally finished wainscoting & base boards (the columns are still a work in process). We are at 34 weeks now - 6 short weeks from the day "they" "say" baby will come. I have been told to plan for earlier, so that if it goes later, I'll be thankful. I realized a few weeks ago that I was counting on being at least 6 days overdue ... considering work tasks and home tasks. But a friend wisely suggested that I should plan for the other option since not being ready would certainly have more significant consequences.

We've been talking with neighbors and friends, establishing plans for when he does decide to make his debut. My mom won't be able to join us in advance, which is tough, but realistic, considering her school schedule (and I'm glad to know in advance). I will really miss having her there when he comes into the world - it was special having her in the room when G was born. She'll still have good time to make a significant impression, though. I know she won't be able to stay away for long - we'll make sure she knows all the flight times for a quick and timely purchase when he does decide to begin his entry march.

Graham is doing well - his favorite toy is still his ladder - this has been a consistent favorite for over a year now. The type of imaginary play changes daily - from a "robot center store" (with the laundry basket) to a choo-choo train, to a grocery store, to a fort / house / tugboat. I love to see the imagination at work! I'm including a few pics of some of his other favorite toys, and one with Daddy when we visited Pat's site to see "Daddy's crane!"

What I've been up to lately (part of it)

2011-03-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

Perhaps it's something I have considered a vice (or a secret closely kept), but I must now freely admit: I entertain a few aesthetic pursuits. Knitting and quilting being the prime examples right now. In the process, I've made a couple of special things for my two boys.

The newest member of our family has about 4 hats right now, and a new pair of legwarmers, but my proudest knitting moment was the little "Nash's Sweater" I made from a small-projects knitting book I found several months ago. I hope it looks as good on him as it does sitting on my couch. I find I'm tempted to make another. Good thing yarn costs money.

We decided that when the new baby arrived, we wanted the boys to be in their own rooms, to ensure quality sleep for both (and for us!). Since the room with the crib is decidedly more "baby" than "big boy," we decided to keep it pretty much as is, and move Graham to the room next door. This was all fine and good, and we probably would have bought some cute comforter from Pott-Barn - until we visited Sisters, OR, and I went into the Stitchin' Post. I was inspired by all the lovely and simple quilts ... and I proceeded to pick out some wonderful fabrics and buy a pattern.

Looking back, it would have been much easier to have made a more simple quilt, not that this is all that complicated, but I do have visions of the simple square quilts that seem so sweet and easy. But this is Graham's owl quilt, and this is how it is - and I love it. I love the colors, I love the fabrics, and I love how he loves it.

I realize I'm implying that it's done, and it's not. The top is done, and now I need to assemble the backing, make the sandwich, and quilt the whole thing. For those of you who have seen my mom quilting in our living room, or at soccer/basketball/volleyball games and the occasional lengthy stoplight, you may be pleased to know that I've learned from her more recent endeavors, and I will be using a sewing machine to do the quilting. Mom, thanks again for the hand-me-down sewing machine - so fun!

Scroll down for an update on the most important project we've been working on ...

Update on Baby 2: still no name ... such a significant decision, and by golly, we sure like the name Graham! It's hard to choose a new one. Baby is 33 weeks "old" today, which puts us seven short weeks from our expected date. Kind of funny, but this baby will likely come pretty close to Mother's Day, and Graham's birthday hovers right around Father's Day every year. I like to think that this makes us appreciate our roles, and the greatest gifts we have given each other.

Lots of fun ahead - 2010 closes with a sense of anticipation

2010-12-21T14:59:00.000-08:00

Two weekends ago, we found out our second baby will be a boy. No name yet. Due to arrive sometime around April 29, 2011.

Last weekend my brother asked his girlfriend, Lauren Rose Cast, to marry him. I am ecstatic with his decision; I love Lauren and it's great to see that Graham does too. For the record, Pat thinks she's pretty cool too.

Several friends and acquaintances are having babies around the same time as Baby Boy 2. Spring will simply be bursting with new life.

My mom is coming for a long weekend in January - to help me finish a quilt I started for Graham's big boy bed (pictures will come later).

We received confirmation that Trex decking will give us money to redo our back deck ... cash instead of material means we can pick another type of material if we choose ... and I have an idea man in my back pocket.

Pat has started finishing up projects around the house which makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.

I planted a bunch of tulip and daffodil bulbs in the front yard, and the fall/winter season has been cold so far - here's to lots of color and green to celebrate our "new arrival."

Graham is potty trained! Still an accident here and there, but no more poopy diapers!

I haven't been pessimistic or focusing on the bad, but it sure is nice to have so much to be excited for in 2011.

Moments like these ...

2010-05-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

Graham just woke up in a fright ... standing in his crib crying for Mommy. At first I was worried he might have vomited or might be sick - it was a fast-paced, frantic cry, but after a quick temperature reading (thank you Braun for your easy thermometer) we figured he must have had a scary dream. He asked for the sun, and we told him it was still sleeping time, and Pat turned off the hall lights and stepped out while I started singing my sweet mellow songs - a comfort to both of us:: Oh Shenandoah, The Water Is Wide, Be Thou My Vision, Hold Me Jesus, Jesus Lover of My Soul ... I rocked and sang.

Then I hummed ... then I stopped. And put my feet up and kept rocking. After a few moments he opened his eyes and he looked at me then closed them. They fluttered one more time, and then I had time in my hands. He hasn't slept in my arms in so long. And he doesn't let me snuggle him for more than a few precious moments. When I hold him at the end of the night, he ends it and asks me to put him in bed. But tonight he rested with me, and he gave me time. And revel I did. With relish and relief.

I wonder at the peace he feels with me - his Mommy. I sat still, I shifted, I sighed, I stroked his head and I remembered how it felt to sit in that chair almost 2 years ago doing the same thing to help him into sleep. I wondered then and I wonder now at the wonder of life - how we start so small and we bring with us so much joy and amazement and we see the world with so much joy and amazement ...

I know there will be several days/week/months before this moment arrives again - if it does. And if it does, I know he'll fit on my lap differently then.

I once read a children's book (I think it was written more for the moms than the kids) about a Mommy who treasured every precious moment as if it were the last:: the last kiss in public, the last handmade card, the last bear hug when she was still able to envelop him in her arms. And I think about that. And I treasure, and I relish the wonder.

I quietly put him back into bed and as I felt him settle in, he cried out once, Mommy? "I'm here ..." I said as I rubbed his back ... and I stayed, and breathed him in. And then I wrapped my mind softly around the memory and walked back into passing time.

I love you, baby.

33 years old - an elevenses birthday!

2010-03-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

And again, it has been three months since our last post. I have no comments, other than to say I am the mother to an active toddler, also carrying a part-time job, and keeping busy fending off a developing passion for knitting.

Today I turn 33 years old. I came downstairs this morning to a birthday card in Graham's highchair (from Graham) and one slid under my laptop (from Pat). Nice touch, guys. I felt uber-special and loved from my special men. Thanks to those of you who have sent along greetings. And to my brother Andy, the words on your blog made my day shine (although many of the IDs pictured made me cringe!).

Possibly the biggest birthday gift I have received is that over the last 8 days, we have had about 7 occasions where Graham's "poops" have gone into the toilet and not into his diaper! We've only had two sessions involving successful peeing in the toilet, but man, I will count my blessings - I would prefer to have to change less messy diapers any day!! For the record, this wasn't even something I mentioned; it all came from Graham's inclinations, and this I accredit to God saying to Himself ... "hmmm - let's see -- what will Molly really be surprised by this year, and what will she be just thrilled to have happen?" Well thanks God, you really got me on this one, and I am loving it!!

Graham is starting to count on his fingers (not even close to being right, but preciously inaccurate). He is counting in both English and Spanish; for this we can thank his teachers at school. He asks to pray for his teacher Jessica every time we mention praying, and will often asks us to pray for her out of the blue - he folds his hands, earnestly looks up at us, and shakes his hands, saying, Ettica, Ettica, Ettica, Ettica! We reply by opening up our prayer to Jesus, praying about what's going on with a little prayer for Jessica, and then we close our prayer in Jesus name. I do admit a secret "concern" that he may grow up thinking that Jesus is a short nickname for Jessica. Funny kid. Heart of gold.

Pat goes to San Diego for a work-related conference on Sunday. My mom and brother will be here part of the time he is gone, and Graham will spend Monday and Tuesday with them while I am at work. He calls my mom "M-nom-nee" which is his interpretation of Grandmother. I know he's looking forward to his time with them - I sure am!

See you around ...

On our sick kiddo ...

2010-01-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

This weekend we had a sick toddler. It is the first time Graham has been this sick - high fever and waking in the nighttime. It's also been a new step in my realizations that I am the Mommy now ... it makes me remember how good it felt to have my Mom next to me, to just be near her, or - even better - in her arms when I was feeling icky sicky. Actually, this is what first triggered my mommy-instinct that something might be amiss ... constant up-up-up, Mommy Mommy Mommy, and long-lasting snuggles and shoulder-head-resting from a boy who can't sit still on my lap for longer than 2 min.

Although it has been really hard seeing him unhappy (and his nose is so snotty!), it has been great for me to see that Graham has a special connection with me. We are also working to make sure he understands that Daddy is comforting too. This works out well for everyone ... it contributes to Graham's learning that Daddy is safe and "home" too, gives Pat the opportunity to comfort, and gives me a few hours off!

[I do have to say, what a kiddo! Look at the smile on his face above ... this is the attitude he has had the majority of the time he's been feeling icky. This year has been amazing as we've been watching elements of his little personality coming to light!]

Other highlights from this weekend - Graham now knows about football. If he sees it on TV he says FOOTBALL!! This does come out a bit more like BOO-BAH!! But with the enthusiasm in his voice and on his face, we know he's talking about football. Yes, this does come from his mommy and daddy. He also says "Touchdown!" but this requires a bit more coaching.

While we're on the topic, Graham also now knows about TV. We had been doing a pretty good job of keeping it pretty low-key, but now after a few times watching with family, he says Tee-bee-Tee-bee-a-bee and points to the TV as if to say, can we turn that thing on again? Although, I have noticed that it seems that watching football is different than watching other stuff. Very good. As it should be, I suppose.

I'm working on updating our Shutterfly site, and will have all pics updated soon. I will also be posting Christmas pictures here too.

If you're wondering if you might have been left off our Christmas card list, please stop wondering. You were not left off - we simply did not send cards this year ... it was an "off" season for us, but we are looking forward to sending one next year!!

2010-01-15T21:43:00.000-08:00

Just watched the movie Bella; not what you'd expect, but lovely. Feeling deeply introspective; maybe it's the music [what a soundtrack] or the beauty of the story, and the rich love of Jose's family... or the realization/recollection of the depth and meaning a child brings to life. I just find myself pausing and wanting to record my thoughts.

Oh ~ for the ability to capture my thoughts! They are here and so meaningful, and then they flit away the very next moment:: an idea to make marriage more meaningful, a tradition I'd love to establish, a thought about pursuing meaning in life, the balance between comfort and conserving -

It seems I'm so quickly on to the next thing ... the next "urgent" thing - how many important things am I missing? How do I capture the ideas I have had, these ideas that might lead me to identifying emotions, and the meaning behind them?

Now distancing myself from the immediacy of that emotion, I see ... I do know; I know I need space and time. This is something I need to learn to give to myself; I need to learn how to find.

Now, I am going to go take a bath. Good night. And God, I love you still, and deeply fully wholeheartedly.

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2009-10-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Finally sleeping! I don't know if it was Uncle Andrew's contagious personality also sharing the backseat or if he just wasn't tired till a few minutes ago ...
We're on our way back from Leavenworth, wa where we spent a great weekend with Andrew. Thanks for meeting us, Bro!!

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2009-10-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

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2009-10-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yes it's spaghetti ... Reason number 45 why we need to get around to putting in cupboard locks!!

Well hello there!

2009-10-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

Hello. It's hard to know what to share sometimes ... and I have been intentionally weeding out some things that require extra effort. You haven't seen us on Facebook in quite a while either, I know. I do check the blog just about daily, as if to see if I've posted anything more - really, it's to see if any of our friends have. If you haven't checked out our friends' blogs, please do! Lots of stories of joy, fulfillment, kiddos, happiness ... they're great. It's great to be able to get a glimpse into the thinking of our friends and the special - or sometimes simply normal - events going on in their lives. Because I enjoy your posts so much, I suppose we should share one in return.

We realized recently that summer is just about over. Oh wait, it IS over! September 22, right? The official first day of FALL? Well not for us - we're busting out the barbeque, enjoying burgers, steaks, corn on the cob, biking as a family, and enjoying walks in the city on Sunday afternoons. We tried fishing one day a few weeks ago, but it was quite anti-climactic.

My analysis on our allowing summer to pass us by? Aside from the loss of my dad, I used to have a huge picture window in my office, which would inspire creative summer behaviors in years past ... this year I'm sequestered away in a little box where my only window to the outside world is outside of my door, and across 5 rows of cubicles - just a small sliver of a window, really. I'm going to try working from home one day a week during the fall; we'll see if I can get more exposure to light at the kitchen table.

Graham gets more and more precious every day. I am, of course, including pictures - enjoy them, I'm hoping there will be more. I have not downloaded since the beginning of August, again, it was something that got "weeded" out for a time, but now I'm feeling more in the mood to share ... and taking advantage of it while it lasts.

Love you all, and thanks for your prayers!

This is at the coast with friends in August - Graham loved reading with Kurt!

... at the coast with friends in August

... waiting for Daddy in the car before leaving for the coast with friends in August :)

... still waiting ...

Graham's favorite place right now - the couch and trunk make this quite the cozy little book nook; and he's content quietly turning pages and reading to himself. Hasn't torn a page yet!(okay, maybe just one when Uncle Andrew was here)

Just hanging out playing ...

Our first family fishing trip!

Little fisherman ...

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2009-10-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

Test message number 1!!

What I read this morning ... speaks to me on many levels

2009-08-12T07:04:00.000-07:00

Psalm 16:5-11

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
Thou does support my lot.
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed my heritage is beautiful to me.

I will bless the Lord who has couseled me;
Indeed my mind instructs me in the night.
I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.
For Thou wilt not abandon my soul to Sheol;
Neither wilt Thou allow Thy Holy One to undergo decay.

Thou wilt make known to me the path of life;
In Thy presence is fulness of joy;
In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.

Some of my thoughts/reflections

The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
God is what I have. He is what I have been given, the most important of all. I could say I have inherited a passion and desire for Him from both of my parents.

Thou does support my lot.
He is with me, walks with me through the path and journey I am on.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed my heritage is beautiful to me.
I love these lines. I love the way this is written. These lines remind me that I have had a blessed amazing life, and am so fortunate to have been fathered by such an amazing dad.

I will bless the Lord who has couseled me;
Indeed my mind instructs me in the night.
Thank you Lord for counseling me and guiding my mind when it's out of my control ... thank you that when I wake up I wake up feeling at peace. Thank you for desiring to be with me and walk with me through all of my pain forever.

I have set the Lord continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
It is a given. I may shake, I may quake, but I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.
I have reason to be happy, my heart can find reasons to glory in things around me, the people, the flowers, the rain, the sun, the cascading layers of hills along the horizon ... my husband who reminds me of my dad. It is nice that God reminds us that not only can our spirit dwell securely, but so can our flesh, and He desires that for us.

For Thou wilt not abandon my soul to Sheol;
Neither wilt Thou allow Thy Holy One to undergo decay.
I am His, and He will protect me for all of eternity.

Thou wilt make known to me the path of life;
In Thy presence is fulness of joy;
In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.
Again, he presents me with reasons for, and sources of, joy, and He tells me it is fine and good, wonderful and beautiful to rejoice in them. And to rejoice and revel in the love, care, and eternal peace He holds for me.

Fun times in Minneanapolis (that's how I used to say it ...)

2009-08-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

We Love You, Grandma Esther!!

This weekend we travelled to Minneapolis where we buried my Grandma's ashes next to my Grandpa Victor at Fort Snelling. She passed away in Pella, Iowa, where we celebrated her life back in November. We have had this trip planned for a few months, and it was great to have everyone together. I know my dad was really looking forward to this trip, and he would have been pleased by the quality time we all spent together. It's the second time in three months that we have been together, and man, does it feel good.

Pat and I met my mom in the MSP airport and we got into our rental car to head for our hotel in Vadnais Heights. We spent some time with family, then crashed into bed.

The next day was Friday. We spent the morning trying to figure out where to go in the Mall of America for lunch, then racing there and eating fast enough so we could make it to Fort Snelling for our 25 minutes in the shelter we were assigned. That is quite the operation ... they have you in and out; must have something to do with the high volume of folks who reside there (lots of white tombstones).

After our 25 minutes reminiscing and praying in the shelter, we wanted to wait in the neighborhood while they put her ashes into the ground. So we tried to hang out in two hotel lobbies (we ended up at the Holiday Inn) where those of us who hadn't eaten at the MOA were able to get some food. Then back to the cemetery where we visited Grandpa and Grandma's site together. You can see the pictures below.

That night we ate pizza together at Warren Olsen's house, my Aunt Pam's dad. He was a gracious host to a huge group of people. I think we numbered at least 21 at that point! We went back to the hotel where Pat and I joined our youngest cousins, Joshua (14), and Jakob & Brita (10) in the pool, having a blast on the water slide. My body is still scolding me for acting so young! All this time, Graham was sleeping, with Grandmother Kathy watching over him.

On Saturday, we had a shelter/pavilion rented for the day at Bald Eagle Lake, so we enjoyed hanging out together in the not-as-warm-as-we-had-thought weather. I got out on the water for a while, but realized too late that I had forgotten to buy the all-important fishing license! At least I got to watch my cousins catch fish!

Graham enjoyed crawling around with his Baby Legs on, going from loving cousin to loving aunt, back and forth and forth and back ... one highlight of the day was when our long-lost cousin "Neil" came to visit us from the Oshkosh overall factory where he worked as a midget model for their suspender pants. Amazing how much he looked like Andy! Graham wasn't too sure about this new character and cried when we tried to get him to share a hug with cousin Neil.

On Sunday we visited Woodland Heights church, where my cousin Brittany goes, then went to lunch at Perkins. Then we said our lengthy goodbyes and headed for the airport. Before we left, we talked about doing this again next year ... and I am already looking forward to it.

There are a lot of photos in this post, and I hope you enjoy them ... I am putting them here as much for me (and Graham!) as for all of you ... it's good to have a record of our times, and this is our record.

Headed for the rental car, riding with Grandmother Kathy -
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With cousin Caitlin, waiting for the Fort Snelling associate to come and take us to our assigned shelter.

Daddy catching Graham's eye in the mirror. Even now G is laughing at this picture as he sees it on the computer monitor.

With cousin Tim as we were waiting at Fort Snelling ...

This is us in the shelter as we're sharing thoughts and memories of Grandma. Also in the picture is my cousin Brittany and her boyfriend Matt.

This is my littlest cousin Brita, who played a recorder version of Grandma's favorite song.

Graham with Grandma's box.

Hanging out in the hotel lobby ... with Brita.

The girl cousins! Molly, Brita, Brittany, and Caitlin. Go ladies!!

Our sweet family.

I had to ask for this picture to be taken ... Graham is not a cuddler, but for about 5 minutes while we were at the graveside, he totally nuzzled in and took comfort ... Mr. Monkers and I took good care of him.

Top row: Left to right, Cheryl (dad's baby sister), Ken (dad's second brother), Pam, Ryan, Joshua, Andrew, Mom, Carol, Caitlin, Tim, Michael, Dan (dad's third brother), and Shelly
Bottom row: Jakob, Molly, Pat, Graham, Brita, Brittany

One night, Graham woke up in the middle of the night and the only thing that would placate him was Uncle Andrew singing "I'm My Own Grandpa," over and over (so long that Andrew fell asleep singing, words slurring as he neared slumber). I set Graham down on Andy's couch bed for the rest of the night, and you can see a picture below of all the men-folk resting together in the morning.

Aunt Shelly and cousin Brittany kissing and loving on Baby G.

This is Brittany working on her unofficial assignment to help Graham learn to walk ... I helped her learn many years ago!

And here, for your enjoyment, is our long-lost cousin Neil!

We'll miss you, little buddy!!

2009-08-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

This week we said "see you later" to some new friends. Old friends to Graham, since Jack is Graham's first little best buddy. Jack's mom, T, got a good new job, but it meant moving the family to Bingen, WA (that's right, Bingen, I know it's a funny name, but that's seriously what it's called!).

Since the beginning of Jack's daycare days, Graham and Jack entertained each other in the infant room at daycare; we received daily reports of how they would make each other laugh, or climb all over each other ... pretty good times for two little boys. And I have really enjoyed getting to know T, and sharing mothering ideas and getting a second opinion on boy stuff. We had just started getting to know T's husband E ... All this to say we will miss you all, and hopefully will see you soon, either in Vancouver or in Bingen!

T and Jack spent the night here on Wednesday, just before we left for Minneapolis for the weekend. So Graham had his first little slumber party. It was pretty uneventful, complete with two happy moms rejoicing downstairs when the room stayed quiet after the first few minutes. We went in to check before we went to bed and we found both boys on their tummies with their little booty diaper bottoms in the air. Too precious. I regretted the darkness which prevented me from capturing the moment on "film."

The wake up moments were pretty sweet: a lively exchange of Hi Hi Hi Hi! across the cribs, and a lot of snickering laughter. Pretty sweet!

See you soon! Here are some fun pics of our time together.

It may seem strange ... <3<3 (those are supposed to be hearts)

2009-08-04T07:09:00.000-07:00

It may seem funny to some of you that I get a little twinge of excitement when I open my desk drawer to pull out my calculator. But that's indeed what has been happening recently. I'll think, yeah, that's too complex for my head alone, I need some help .... oh! Dad's classic HP calculator!

Then I'll reach in the drawer and pull out this dinosaur. I only call it a dinosaur because this particular unit has been around the block a few times. But I think I've seen these old classics still being sold! And that's because they're so straightforward ... and antique-feeling ;) wink wink.

Mom found that she had two in the desk drawer after Dad died, so she let me take this one. I love using this baby and smiling as I remember Dad trying to explain how the "stacks" work and the special way of entering the numbers. I didn't grasp it then, but once I "got" how it works, I found that it totally works for me. Plus, I just love being part of the "in" club.

Thank you for loving us ... and update

2009-07-17T23:33:00.000-07:00

My Book Club friends, "The Book Slots" (another story for another time) just left. Before they left, one of them coaxed me into letting them empty my dishwasher ("I'll just empty it, I won't fill it! I know where the stuff goes!") and then while my friend Monica chatted me up about meal planning, the others proceeded to clean my kitchen. I mean spraying the counters and everything. To a girl who loves nothing better than a clean kitchen in the morning, this was very meaningful. Know this: I was fully prepared to bed down and leave it in a very dirty state ... this has been quite the week, and I had no desire to clean my kitchen. I am so thankful for the friends surrounding me.

I had big plans for dinner, but only made it as far as getting the soup made (roasted elephant garlic soup with pesto - much easier than it might sound, and incredibly delicious). I had a couple of unpleasant realities with the pasta (including moldy broccoli) so I scrapped it and I had one of the Book Slots stop for pizza on the way. I decided it just wasn't worth the trouble to try and pull something together last minute. I needed a rest, and I needed to be intentional about relaxing with my good friends. I have been tired this month. While tiring, it sure has been fun!

Pat's sister Erin and her husband Tom, with their 3-year old daughter Olivia, came into town on Sunday. They were in Seattle for a business meeting so came down to PDX for a few days). I had to leave Monday night for a 3-day training in San Jose, but we were able to fit in a quick visit to the zoo on Monday. Very fun, but Graham missed his midday nap (which might have been the setting-out point for a tough week). We were so thankful to share our home and time with Erin & Tom! Quality time is so hard to find. We hope they come every year for this annual meeting!

My training in San Jose was good and I learned a lot, but on Wednesday evening I learned an even more important lesson about trusting in my husband's capabilities. On Wednesday Graham's daycare called Pat to tell him that Graham had a 102 degree fever. It was the end of the day and Pat was already on his way to pick Graham up, but having had the fever at daycare meant he couldn't come back the next day. And I was still in San Jose. We scrambled and had some help from our friend Nicole watching Graham for the morning so Pat could attend a meeting, then Pat worked from home in the afternoon while Graham napped.

Pat accomplished a lot in those three days, kind of a crash course I suppose! And he did so well! I learned a lot about what a great dad he is. And also what a loving patient husband he is, as he encouraged me, so many miles away listening Graham crying on the phone.

And now back to the Book Slots, I have to get a few words in. I need to say thank you, ladies. Thank you for ~six years (WOW!) and thank you for love. Thank you for quietly sharing your time and knowing when to ask how I'm doing and when to let sleeping tears lie. Thank you for hugs and books and sharing in my Tear Soup. Thank you for loving my mom. Thanks for letting my husband be quiet or share, as he chooses, and thanks for letting me share endless stories about my boy.

I like having a clean house, just because I like it that way, but I am finding my priorities are changing. Because I haven't had much home time this week, it was nice to be with you all evening knowing that you didn't mind the stacks of stuff on the other end of the table, or that there was a pot of forsaken pasta rigate on the stove. It has taken time for me to find this kind of ease, and it feels so good to have it with you. Thanks for being you and for letting me be me.

And a note to the rest of you readers - thank you also for loving us! Thank you for the care you have given us over the last two months (and over all the months prior!). Thank you too for all the times you let me be me ... and the love you share with us daily. We love and appreciate you so much.

Recent videos ...

2009-06-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

There is a post with an update for today below this, in case you're wondering what we're up to. Here's a post with a few videos for your enjoyment. The first two are pretty quick to watch. The last two are longer ... some of Graham's crib antics from Tuesday - he probably spent a full 20 minutes hanging out and learning new skills in his little den!

So what have we been up to?

2009-06-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

The big occasion we recently celebrated was ... Graham's ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY!! Incredible. We had a great time. I had been a bit apprehensive about whether or not I would really enjoy the party and have fun. Honestly, I wish I could keep Graham right where he is right now. He is such a pleasure and a joy to be with. But I remember several times over the past year where I had the same thought and emotion ... and look at him now! If he'd stopped growing up at 6 months, where would we be now?

While we kept the party small, we had a good mix of friends - old friends, friends from the neighborhood, from church, and from daycare. All the kiddos seemed to have fun decorating our little car-shaped cakes, and some of the adults joined in the fun too. We all enjoyed Graham's antics as he enjoyed his cake. It was pretty sweet. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures on my camera, so I am depending on friends and my mom to send me pics to update the blog! I'm sorry about that- I know how much fun first birthday pics can be!!

We think Graham is getting close to walking. We're not rushing him, I'm content to let him crawl as long as he wants to - he'll learn to walk sooner rather than later :) I haven't yet seen a High School graduate crawling across the stage on hands and knees. We're going to Idaho this weekend - maybe it will happen while we're there. That would be fun for Mom, and for Uncle Dan and Aunt Shelly, who will be there too. In fact, my cousin Brittany will be there too, and I still remember standing her up by the TV in their family room, and walking across the room to the couch where I would coax her to walk across the room. What a passage of time. Amazing.

We still miss my dad. With my mom here last weekend, it was impossible not to think of him. And it was good to feel those feelings. When my mom and I were heading home from some errand or outing, I felt myself thinking, "I wonder what Dad's doing," or "I wonder what he'll think of our outing," or "I can't wait to tell him ..." anticipating the sound of his laugh or what he would say. And I hope that continues. Again, I welcome those feelings. I try not to talk myself out of having them.

On another front, our garden is doing really well. We planted lettuce this year, and it has been so wonderful to have, and so satisfying to watch. We supplement with what we get from our CSA (Community Supported Agriculture, we're a member of Purple Rain Vineyards http://www.purplerainvineyard.com/), and we're enjoying amazing produce. I can't wait for our brussels sprouts and fava beans ... and pole beans, and tomatoes ... wowowow. We've already enjoyed a plethora of strawberries and cherries - We have picked more than 16 pints of cherries from our tree; thanks to a net that Pat worked hard to pull over the tree so we wouldn't have to watch the birds slowly eat the cherries right as they turned red!

Here are some pics for you ...

This is us in Boise with my Great Uncle Walter, Graham's Great-Great Uncle. He is my Dad's uncle, and he was very special to my dad, and he's special to us too.

2009-06-03T12:57:00.001-07:00

I just made this sign to go on my office wall:

My heart HURTS
And I am SAD
And that is OKAY.
It is OKAY, it's even healthy, for me to be SAD.

I've had several conversations recently that remind me that even as time goes on, my feeling of loss will remain. And while I may not always be as sad as I am now, I will always miss my dad and think of things he would enjoy or appreciate. This has been important for me to hear. I had been seeking closure, when really, I think this process is very open-ended. It may be that I will miss him until my own dying day. And that is OKAY, and even good.

But in this time, for the forseeable future, I can be sad - I need to be sad. I need to remind myself that this is acceptable and normal, and healthy. It doesn't mean I won't laugh, and it doesn't mean I won't appreciate blue skies, making Graham laugh, and sunny days at the beach. It just means that it's okay to tear up every now and then, or to feel a big sigh come on out of the blue. That's okay.

We have seen so many evidences of God's grace in all of this. Grace as in undeserved favor, or in my context, unanticipated blessing. Or unanticipated goodness. My mom is keeping a list, and she has told me that it's healing for her. I started my own, and I'm finding I add to it daily. We can see that God has prepared us for this; we can see blessings that have made this easier to handle, easier to move forward and through this season. But at the same time that this is comforting, it's also confusing. It's easy to ask "why this way," and "why my dad?" But again, God's grace is bigger, and I really feel his arms holding me. Every day. And I am thankful that I am loved - by a God who exceeds all my comprehensions.

Yesterday my brother Andrew shared this passage with me; one that has had special meaning for him lately (emphasis mine): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean NOT on YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS." Prov. 3:5-6.

Thanks for your love and prayers. Just in case you're wondering what Graham is up to, here are a couple of pics. The first is of him with his little buddy at school.

Where we are now ...

2009-05-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

We got home here at about 8 pm. We were excited to be returning home (I was eager to see check on progress in the garden) but we both heaved a sigh of dread at returning to reality, with a different perspective. A friend of mine recently shared a comment that I liked. We make our return to reality and we start going again just like it's normal, but I feel like I should be able to wear a sign that says, My Dad Just Died. I know I will find my own personal way to wear a sign of sorts that allows me to honor his memory and keep him close to me.

Anyway, the point of this post is to share our thankfulness for amazing friends. We walked into our house expecting a healthy dose of reality - the kind that comes when you walk into a house full of the madness that comes when you quickly left a week ago.

But to my surprise, our house is spotless. Everything is in order, stacks are in place, the diapers that were in the dryer are stacked in a laundry basket, even the kitchen faucet is shinier than it's been since we viewed the house with our realtor! And the fridge is stocked with milk & eggs (my staple requirements for a happy morning), and the counter has bananas & avocados. The stairs are vacuumed. And there are enchiladas in the fridge.

To my dear friend or friends who helped with this project, THANK YOU. Thank you for knowing what I need to help be able to sit quietly and process. I am looking forward to a quiet and relaxed evening - and weekend - because of you.

And thank you to the Hagertys for your support in Boise. Thanks for helping to host a houseful of people and for protecting us from too many phone calls and dirty dishes.

We are so blessed. 'Nuff said.

My comments from the memorial service

2009-05-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

For purpose of posterity, and for those of you who weren't able to attend the memorial service, here are the notes I used for my words honoring my dad.

Several months ago, when my son Graham was about 6 weeks old, and my parents were visiting, I walked into Graham’s room in the morning while he was still sleeping. I found my dad standing in his old familiar pajamas with a gleeful and slightly sheepish smile on his face. He was standing at the closet looking through the clothes hanging on the rod. “There are so many!” he said, “They’re so tiny and soon they’ll be too small!”

My dad loved to sneak into Graham’s room at the first sound he made, and I think he secretly hoped I wouldn’t hear Graham stirring over the baby monitor, so that he could pull him out of his crib, and snuggle with him. Later he loved to make him laugh … we have quite a few videos recording the antics my dad would employ to get a big smile / chortle or waving arms in response. I still have a gmail chat on record from a couple of days before he died, where he was checking on the progress Graham was making to the question, “where’s your nose.” We are still working on it with him, and we're hoping he'll soon stop pointing to his mouth.

I loved to watch my dad love my son. And I loved to watch my dad love me. I felt my dad’s love in so many ways. Even as recently as the last time we were in Boise, he would often hold my hand when we were walking together. He would ask me if I wanted to go for a walk or a run, and we’d hustle on down Mountain View … walking more slowly on the return, and he’d take my hand in his big paw and tell me how happy he was to be my dad, that I was doing a good job with Graham, and that we seemed to be in pretty good shape as a little family. I could count on him for an optimistic long-term outlook on current circumstances or the crises we faced as a nation or as the world. It never felt unmanageable when he explained it.

He had an incredible soft, big, full-faced smile, and I thrilled every time I saw it. I’ll miss his hands and that smile. … And his big eyebrows and his forehead and the way crumbs would hover in his mustache, but those are different stories. I’m going to miss my dad at Graham’s birthday party in a couple of weeks, and on Father’s Day; I’m going to miss him singing with my mom on my birthday next year, and I recognize that all the years to come will be incredibly different without him. I’ll miss the way he answers the phone (“Hello, hello!”), and the voicemails he leaves for us. I’ll miss hearing from Pat, “So, your dad called …” and chuckling about what funny things he called to share with us. I will always remember the love he shared with my mom, and still continue to set them up as an example of a longterm passionate relationship.

I ache. I miss all these things now, and I know the list will grow in the next few months. I don’t understand God’s timing or plan. I wanted so much more from my dad, for me and my brother, for my husband, for all of our children, and for my mom. I wanted a life full of memories and experiences and laughter and tears. I don’t understand the plan, but I know there is a plan. I don’t understand the circumstances or the brutality, but I’m working to forgive the situation which took my dad away. The rest of my life, while different and fully changed, will still be full of good things and new memories. While it’s not what I expected, I do know that God’s blessings will prevail, and although it’s hard to conceive now, I know the future will be better than it looks from my current perspective.

2009-05-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/IdahoStatesman/obituary.aspx?n=Thomas-Dale-Bettger&pid=127650089

Update

2009-05-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

We're doing well. Today it rained a light rain, enough to wet the ground and raise up a strong smell of healthy rain. That really helped me feel good. I had a much better morning just because it started off cool and smelled so amazing. We went to church as a family, with my dad's brother Dan, wife Shelly and the two of their four kids who were able to make it into town. It was hard, as we kind of expected, but good because we knew there isn't anywhere my mom would rather be on a Sunday morning.

Our friends the Hagertys are here with us. We're so thankful for their support! Nicole is doing a lot of the dish-washing and slicking up, setting out food for the group and making sure all of us are eating and drinking. Not to mention the occasional gut checks and reminding us to find time to step away from all the activity and find time to be quiet and process through things.

My dad's middle brother, Ken, came in tonight with his wife Pam and their three kids. They used to live here in Boise. Tonight was hard having everyone together and realizing that Dad wasn't going to walk around the corner to join in the reunion. I actually needed to leave the house for a while to process again the fact that things are going to be very different for us going forward.

Tomorrow we're all having dinner with Pastor Bruce at my Uncle Ric's house (my mom's brother), to reminisce together and talk about the service. I'm looking forward to that.

I am so thankful for the time that my Dad had with Graham.

Hard News

2009-05-22T21:58:00.001-07:00

I am typing with heavy hands and afraid to say hard words that are only too true. My dad was killed last night as he was riding his bike to Home Depot to run an errand. I feel like I'm exaggerating, except that there's no exaggeration. My dad died. My dad died.

I am finding peace at moments, and aching deeply at so many others. Please pray for us. Pray for Pat, pray for Graham, and pray for me. We are here in Boise, and we are glad to be with family.

See these photos of my dad on my brother's blog: http://neckbeard.wordpress.com/. Also, you can find a news report from our local station on this website (http://www.2news.tv/news/local/45882772.html - right now it's on their home page at www.2news.tv). It has a pretty incredible picture of my dad biking many years ago. I couldn't believe it was him.

We love him so much! And I am so thankful for all the days and years we had ... and I don't know what else to say right now.

thank you,

What's going on ...

2009-05-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

We have a house full of family this weekend. Grandmother & Granddad (Bettger) and Grandma and Grandpa (Rank) are here, as is Uncle Andrew, and Cousin Greg will be showing up soon.

Graham is getting dedicated at church on Sunday. Dedication is the time when we commit before our church family that we plan to do our best to raise Graham in a godly manner, and the church prays together for us and Graham, and they also have the opportunity to agree to help us raise Graham and be a part of his life as he grows to know Jesus as his personal Lord. I am really looking forward to this, and I am so pleased that so many family will be here to be a part of the day and the prayers involved. And how special that it's also MOTHER'S DAY!

Yesterday we went down to Picture People in Clackamas and had pictures of Graham with all of us, with both sets of Grandparents, and one each of Graham with me and my Mom and with Pat and Laura. They all look great. A special Mother's Day gift.

We're having a great time, everyone fits into the house, and we're eating well! This morning I made a great Monte Cristo Bread Pudding, and Laura is going to make us brats today ... boiled in beer & onions just like her son-in-law Jode makes them ... we've had them before and they are SO GOOD!

Here are some pictures to whet your possible appetite for more.

Graham had an accident crawling off the bed. His nose was pretty tender for a while; unfortunately he had a cold complete with thick excretions for a while ... made for some intense crying sessions and feeling bad on our part.

We got a new baby pack, and Pat is already putting it to use taking Graham along on walks to the park to run Lazslow. As you can see, Graham enjoys it!

Lazslow and Graham both enjoy crawling through this little tunnel on their circuits around the house.

No comment, except to say, isn't this the classic baby moment!?

With all the sun we had a couple weekends ago, we decided to protect Graham's eyes ... they worked for about 3 minutes, until we noticed how his eyeballs weren't really appreciating his long eyelashes!

The next three are from Easter weekend. We had lunch/dinner with Andy's girlfriend Lauren's family in Portland. Grandma Rank had sent us an Easter necktie for Graham, and Pat and I figured as long as Graham was getting dressed up, we should doll ourselves up! We had a great time.

Ladies and Gentlemen ....

2009-04-23T20:52:00.001-07:00

After much work and encouragement (I'm not sure if either helped ...), Graham is finally moving on all fours! That's right, we have a crawler in the house - let the babyproofing (and frequent vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and chasing commence)! Here's a video for your enjoyment:

And as a bonus feature, we are also including this adorable video montage of Graham one night in the bathtub ...

NYC ... what a weekend!

2009-04-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

We had a great time in New York. We visited several favorite places, Pat took some great shots of architecture, and we went to a few new neighborhoods and museums. We ate at our Korean restaurant again, and in the process introduced my parents to excellent Korean BBQ. The restaurant is called WonJo and it's on 32nd St. if you ever have the opportunity. Seriously amazing - both times we've been there.

We did the Guggenheim, the Met, saw the Lion King (Mom & Dad saw Billy Elliot - all Elton John music, and they said it was great), visited the NY Public Library, Bryant Park (behind the library), Grand Central station, Greenwich Village (our first time), the parks along the Hudson, the financial district, Macys (again we happened to be in town for their huge Easter-time floral display), and went to Redeemer Presbyterian to hear Pastor Tim Keller speak. We met up with Andy and his girlfriend Lauren, and saw some old family friends, Mike & Terry Prendergast. We did a lot of walking, and got to see a lot of people and sites.

Even though it rained more days than we saw sun, we made a lot of memories, and had an amazing time. Pat and I really enjoyed our date night (thanks Mom & Dad!) and Graham did really well considering the time change. He just did well overall - even not considering the time change - he was a trooper! When I was wearing him in museums and subway stations, he would grin at people as they walked by and reach out his hands to touch them. Very interested in what was happening, and in getting as much attention as possible!

Kay Lynn, we ate at your restaurant, Grano (10th & Greenwich?), and it was as great as you said ... we were greeted in Italian and immediately seated with our party of 8 ... in the middle of the afternoon ... the front of the restaurant was full with a big Italian family. Pat and I enjoyed watching a solitary elderly Italian gentleman eating his pasta with a glass of wine while reading the paper.

On our first day, we went to Grand Central station to get Metro passes and to take the train to the Guggenheim - we opted for the train because we all were SOAKED - with the exception of Graham who was well-protected in his little stroller-fort. While we were standing there strategizing our next move, we were surrounded by about 10 middle school girls. They asked us if they could give us something, and after my initial apprehension about someone trying to sell us something (and remembering I wasn't in Korea where they might be asking to take a picture with us), I started to listen.

They were a group of students from Iowa (?) who were distribution bags with a children's book from Todd Parr called The Peace Book (he also wrote The Grandma Book and The Grandpa Book). We could have gone to Borders on Union Square to have him autograph it, but we got busy. Anyway, we took the bag and got our pictures taken with the girls (they did ask after all!), and it's been really cool having that as a memory. They were so excited to share peace with us and to ask us to pass it on. Very special.

- Another memory I have is leaving Pat and my parents in the Guggenheim and going up to the cafeteria on the 3rd floor where I fed Graham looking out into a thunderstorm with huge spurts of rain falling on Central Park.

- I enjoyed seeing Mary Cassatt artwork that was influenced by Chinese and Japanese artists, and a fascinating exhibit of graphic art influenced by Asian calligraphy. I know her more for her impressionist work ... these pieces were neat because they were still of women, mothers and babies, but coming from a more Asian influence.

- Another memory is eating at the Korean restaurant in the middle of the afternoon and putting our blanket down so that Graham could play ... and the amazing staff who played with him, especially one man who interacted so closely and intimately with Graham. I remember Graham was silenced and in entranced as the man made funny mouth noises and faces at him - almost as if Graham was feeling slightly apprehensive, but so curious he couldn't help but draw closer ...

- I remember the taste of the bean-paste and garlic mixed with the bugolgi & kalbi ... I remember the voices of the Korean men and women on the streets and standing in Pinkberry; their laughter, the lilting rhythm of their language - and I remember my first visit to Korea, how nervous I was, and how suprised I was at how much I enjoyed everything.

- I enjoyed seeing our old friends the Prendergasts, and walking the city with them, hearing from Terry what it was like to grow up in Manhattan, sitting on the fire escape at night, imagining a little girl learning about life - and herself in these neighborhoods.

- I'll remember the sunset during our dinner at a restaurant overlooking the bridges on the Hudson ... it was a fluke that we ended up at the location, but it was a phenomenal view as the sun went to sleep.

- I remember the Bryant Park outdoor Reading Room (what a great concept), and I'll plan to go back on a sunny day when the only plans I have made are to sit quietly, reading, enjoying the buildings and the bright daffodils.

- I'm thankful for the opportunity to take a trip like this as a little family, hopefully imbuing my son with an excitement for new places and the art of simple appreciation.

Pictures online at http://www.warankphotos.shutterfly.com/

If only to save you from the previous post ...

2009-03-30T07:28:00.001-07:00

Hello all! I suppose I should post - even if it's just to get rid of the squirrel pics ... they were getting a little tiring for me as well. As an update, I just noticed yesterday that another animal has moved in and eaten half of the remaining green leaves from the crocuses. Alas. Maybe I am not destined to revel in spring's amazing crocus-ness.

This week we depart for a cross-country adventure. We are leaving Wednesday evening for Boise where we'll stay the night and fly out the next morning - with my parents - for New York City! Yes, that's right - we're headed to the Big Apple, and we're taking along "free" childcare. Not that they'll be straddled with G while we have all the fun - no, we're going to alternate nights out on the town ... and we're hoping that Graham proves to be so exhausted by it all that he falls asleep and naps right in his stroller so we can enjoy the sights, scenes and sounds of the big city.

We're looking forward to visiting the city again - we have been there two times over the last few years, and we've really enjoyed our visits. We had intended to go earlier this year, but just didn't make it happen. Now with the low fares (and low points for round trips - 25,000 on UAL!), we decided the time was right - especially before G starts walking ... and adding a whole new level of risk into the mix.

My parents are also benefitting from frequent flyer miles, and we're looking forward to the time with them - and hoping for many fun pics. As it happens, my brother Andy will also be in NYC for the weekend, visiting friends. We can't all be that far from home and not get together for a quick hello ... so we're meeting up on Sunday. More to come - maybe we'll figure out how to post remotely. See you later! Here are some pics to slake your appetite (and there are more on shutterfly - http://www.warankphotos.shutterfly.com/) ...

My Critter Victory!!

2009-03-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well know that I love spring. I love spring for many reasons, foremost of which are 1 - my birthday is March 8, which is special primarily because of reason 2 - crocuses, daffodils and hyacinths pop out of the ground for my birthday - opening themselves up wide to welcome the few hours of sun we get here in our wet northwest world.

Over the seasons we've spent in this house, I have planted and maintained a large number of crocus bulbs, and other flowers, and I eagerly await their arrival every year around late Feb / early March. My little crocus bed is quite sizeable, and should effectively be very bright and colorful. However, for the last three years, my anticipation and excitement has been decimated by a very spiteful little creature. To wit, please see the photos below. Do you see the problem? While the crocus leaves are healthy, green, and lovely, the flowers have all been snipped off at the base by a pesky, persistent, puny little rodent.

This year, I declared battle. After three seasons of watching our neighbors crocuses bloom and greet spring with wild abandon, I decided that this year I would invest in next year's spring, and I slyly laid a trap for the little pest. I think the squirrel had an initial interaction with the trap which really angered him, because the next morning I found that one of my primroses had been signficantly "dead-headed," referring to the gardener's process of removing dead blooms to allow the plant to focus energy on growing new flowers. Perhaps I should use the word "butchered." Judge for yourself ...

Last night after work I found the trap on its side, with the bait looking dismally rainsodden. I fancied that the squirrel had been in the trap, freaked out, and turned it onto its side so that the closure mechanism fell away, and he escaped. This morning, I moved the trap nearer the butchered primrose, added sliced almonds from our salad accents bag, and welcomed my friends and their kids as they arrived for play group.

At the end of play group, Lazslow started to freak out as I was hugging my friend Nicole. I headed for the window, and looked away, disappointed that nothing was there. Nicole said, "No, I think there's something in there!" Sure enough! I had caught myself a squirrel! I'm not sure if this is THE squirrel, but I am going to get rid of him. I'll wait until Pat gets home, and maybe together we'll truck him several miles away. Animal Control said they recommend we "put him down," because he'll just be a nuisance to another home owner, or he'll be easy prey for a predator. I'm not sure what we'll do, but I think Pat should definitely get to see the evidence of my critter victory.

And thanks to the wonder of modern technology, here's evidence for you too!

I should also add that this may be the end of an era for Lazslow. He has truly enjoyed chasing this squirrel as the squirrel creeps around under our deck, and under our shed, and under fences Lazslow can't get past. He also stands outside the door barking for us - not to be let in, but for us to come out and help him antagonize the squirrel. I hope this is the squirrel in question, so we might have some more peaceful evenings. I am not certain, however, because this squirrel has his full tail, and Pat and I both witnessed Lazslow removing a large portion of a squirrel's tail last summer. Does anyone know if squirrels' tails grow back?

Quilt #1

2009-03-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

We have a few special blankets for Graham that I wanted to "profile" on the blog ... two from each Grandmother, pretty neat if you ask me.

In December, my mom, Graham's Grandmother Kathy, gave Graham the quilt she had been working on for several months. I had drafted a post to share this quilt with all of you, but I got frustrated trying to pull in some of the pictures and gave it up a while ago. I decided to pick it up again today, and just deal with the fact that my pictures won't all pull in correctly. I think you'll still be able to get the gist. I'll also share some of the special other quilts Graham has received.

Isn't this fun?! There are lots of different cars, trucks, semis, construction equipment, you name it! You can't see them in the picture, but there are dogs quilted into the center block. And the backing is blue fabric with engineering & construction drawings - the same as the curtain's in G's room.

I have this draped on the back side of Graham's crib right now, and he enjoys batting at it when he is trying to fall alseep, or after he wakes up before we come in. In a few months he'll enjoy driving his cars on the road that runs around the border of the quilt.

My little soft boy ...

2009-03-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

I just came downstairs after sitting with my little soft boy on my lap, after he woke up from his afternoon nap. It struck me that the other afternoon, I was walking back to my office after a bathroom break when I had a vivid memory of how it feels to lay my chin on the back of his head. This afternoon I sat like this for maybe 5 whole minutes ... as long as he would let me sit quietly with him on my lap ... his activities alternating between kicking feet and pumping hands in the air. I feel this is one of those moments that will be so fleeting - how many more months will he sit on my lap? For how many more weeks will the top of his head be at just the right height that my chin will softly rest on his warm skin and hair, or his shoulder able to tuck right into the nape of my neck?

We often dress Graham in shirts and pants ... these clothes that make him look cleverly grown-up - a sweet little tiny man. When I saw him in his pajamas on Saturday morning, I remembered that he won't be this little for long. I am finding now that I crave seeing him in these one piece outfits ... the softer and snugglier the better - for me of course. Maybe the next time you see us, he'll be in little footed pajamas ... he has the rest of his life to dress in grown-up clothes ... for now I want to keep him little for as long as possible.

That's what I'm thinking now ... here are some pics for your enjoyment.

At breakfast with friends a few weeks ago:

At Lowe's on March 6 - I bought myself flowers and planted them in the backyard a few days before my birthday - shortly after this the weather went crazy and it started snowing and freezing again (yes, it snowed on my birthday!). This day, March 6, it was beautiful and amazing, and G sat outside with my in his activity center while I planted 16 golden yellow primroses (they still look great!) . He loves these carts - hands on the wheels and everything. He attracted so much attention from one couple that I felt comfortable asking them to take a picture of us together.

Greetings from Washington!

2009-03-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

I recently learned from a couple of friends that they do check our blog periodically for updates and pictures, so I decided maybe I should provide a few updates. It's been over 1 month since my last update, and I know I tend to wonder about other folks when they wait that long between posts.

Graham is eight months old, a fact that never ceases to amaze me. It also never ceases to amaze me that he has gained so much dexterity with his hands - and his legs! Although he is not crawling yet, he does a pretty remarkable job moving around on his little toosh. He turns, and leans and reaches, and makes do very well.

In fact, at daycare the other day, he fell asleep on the floor - leaning forward (folded in half!) with his head on his little feet. They sent me pictures taken using their phone (gmail is not letting me download to share with you). It looked like his monkey is on his lap, so I think he probably leaned down to put it in his mouth, a habit which is very comforting to him. In this instance, he must have been so comforted that he just gave in and fell asleep.

Our sweet boy seems to be able to say "Hi" - he coos a little "AA-eee" at people when he first sees them ... accompanied by a funny little arm wave. I realize now how often I greet him with a soft little "Hi" - I do believe I say it when ever I see him looking for me! Well, he'll be a social little guy, thanks to my constant greeting.

Graham loves his daddy. When G and I are upstairs in his room eating, or when I'm changing his diaper, he will inevitably crane his neck around to see if Daddy is coming in the door for a quick surprise. Daddy is a constant source of excitement and enthusiasm, and it's fun for all of us. Graham waves his little arms, gives a HUGE smile, and jabbers, jabbers, and squeals - all of which say, in effect, "Daddy, you are the coolest thing on this earth, and I'm so glad people say I look exactly like you because maybe it means I'll be as cool as you someday too!"

In other news, we've had a few visitors come through - I'm including a few pics from a visit with Uncle Andrew & Lauren from Seattle, and Grandmother Kathy & Granddad Tom from Idaho. We love our time with family! Grandma Laura & Grandpa LeRoy, we can't wait for May!!

On spring ...

2009-01-27T07:40:00.000-08:00

I know it's not even February yet, but I have to share a recent finding. Maybe it will bring a shred of hope for the season next to come (except for those of you in Australia, who are right now in the throes of your hot season).

"Is the spring coming?" he said. "What is it like?"

"It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine, and things pushing up and working under the earth," said Mary.

That is an excerpt from The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. We are reading this book in Book Club this month, and I am loving it. I am loving the memories it evokes, and I'm already planning to read it to Graham. There are two great boy characters in it, just in case you're thinking it sounds like a girls book. Ladies, if you haven't read it recently, I encourage you to pick up a copy.

We are ready for spring here in Washington! Of course, I do like the winter weather, and I like my winter wardrobe better than my summer wardrobe - why is it so hard to appreciate summer clothes in the same way as winter clothes? Maybe it's just harder to get excited about lightweight, flimsy, single layer clothes! I've had this conversation with women and was surprised that others felt the same way. Guys, I'd be interested in knowing if men feel the same way ...

i need to go wash diapers. Before I go, here are a few pics to keep you coming back for more ...

These are from SunRiver, OR where we spent New Years and a few days.

These are from today ...

What we've been up to ...

2009-01-12T21:59:00.000-08:00

Greetings! It has been too long since we've written. We spent Christmas in Wisconsin, then when we got back, we went to Sunriver, OR, with another couple and their kids to stay at Pat's company's condo for New Year's Eve and the weekend. It was nice to get away, but it made it even harder to get back into the work routine.

Graham is doing so well! The video will show you visually ... his little bottom teeth are peeking through, he's sitting on his own, he's pushing up like he's going to crawl, he's eating solids (which means his poop is changing), and he's making new noises all the time ... he's really coming into his own. We are really enjoying hanging out with him - we both talked about missing him today when we went back to work after the weekend.

I created a little video and am including it here ... some video from the last couple of days, and some pictures of the past month or so. Most from my phone, so the quality is kind of low. This is my first attempt making a movie - I used Windows Movie Maker. I feel like it's pretty rough, but for the sake of Graham's grandparents, my parents especially (haven't seen G since Thanksgiving) ... I thought I'd include it. We got a Flip Mino HD for Christmas - (it's awesome by the way). If anyone has advice on good free movie software, I'm interested!

Well, I'm heading to bed now. More to come ... trying to get back in the habit of posting.

Visit to Santa ... and our Winter Wonderland

2008-12-22T11:42:00.000-08:00

It all started last week. Last Sunday we didn't venture to church, because of snow and treacherous roads (the second and third services were cancelled0. And since then the weather hasn't stopped. There were a few days of snow that melted, which was nice - it was here then it was gone. But since Thursday, we have slowly been building a massive accumulation of snow. On Thursday night, the snow was more like Dippin' Dots - you know that fun ice cream product you get at the fair or concerts/basketball games? It came quickly and there was about 1/2 in on the ground in 10-15 minutes. It was all downhill (uphill?) from there. Church was cancelled again yesterday - no services at all - and Christmas Sunday at that!

We had blizzard conditions ... tiny little snowflakes blowing around (the kind I used to believe couldn't really add up to much) ... not sticking everywhere, but piling up in the corners of our yard and on our front porch (up to a foot or higher!). Next came the freezing rain which gave us a nice 3/8 in thick crust - just enough to freak out the dog. And I didn't notice it happening, but apparently it snowed overnight, and the neighbor is shoveling 4 new inches off her sidewalk. And it's still snowing. Total accumulation so far? Last night they said 9" total in Vancouver - this morning it's got to be at least a foot so far. INSANE!! But incredible beautiful at the same time.

I haven't been in "residential" snow (that's the term I'm using for snow around your primary abode) like this for quite some time, and I can't help but wish I was six years old again. I don't have any desire to get out in the snow and make snow angels or build a snow fort or roll balls for a snowman ... but I remember having that desire, and I wish my little six-year old self was here to roll around and get snow into every open gap in my winter clothes, then come in for piping hot cocoa and cookies from my mom.

I can't wait for Graham to get excited for the same things. If history stays regular, maybe in 2012 we'll have another storm - when Graham is 4 1/2 years old. I bet my excitement will come back when it is prompted by a little 4 ft "G-man" begging for help to roll the balls and get the head on the snowman.

On Saturday morning we took advantage of our last chance to get out before the freezing rain set in. We went to go see Santa at the downtown Nordstrom. He has the best costume of any Santa I've encountered ... dark red, furry and jingly. I think they've had a new guy the last two years - his real beard is artificially frosted silver (which looks kind of freaky) ... and he's pretty introverted. Graham thought he was just fine ... he hung out with him in a very relaxed fashion - although he didn't give us any big smiles, at least he stayed away from the loud screams!

After visiting Santa, we walked around Portland with Graham in our Chariot stroller (the one we can tow behind our bikes). This thing is great - Pat and I shivered in our boots, loving every moment of the "city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style ..." while Graham was warm and toasty in his Chariot, hanging out letting us do all the work. The drive home was not bad, since all the snow blew off the roads. We were home well before the arrival of the freezing rain. But that was Saturday. Now it's Monday and I am very stir-crazy. Can't even go for a walk, because the stroller can't get thru the snow! Should have bought the ski attachments ...

Tomorrow we're going to fly to Wisconsin for Christmas - or we will try to fly. The airlines are having to use significant amounts of de-icer ... and apparently they don't like to do that. I think they use de-icer in other parts of the country regularly - they should be able to do that here too! We're just hoping we get out of here ... Minneapolis should be more prepared for the winter weather they're encountering. Pray for us travelling ... for timely arrivals, and departures. Also, pray for Graham. I think he's starting to teethe ... which isn't fun for him - or us. He's always travelled well so far, but this time might be a bit more challenging (for everyone else).

Our definition of nighttime fun has changed!

2008-12-09T09:25:00.001-08:00

Oh the things we do as parents!

Last night Pat and I spent about 10 minutes laying on the floor listening to Graham as he was rolling around and cooing in his crib. We'd raise up to try and catch glimpses of him, then quickly duck back down so he wouldn't see us. We were snickering softly, both of us realizing how silly we were being, but how much fun we were having watching Graham figure out his body movements ... We watched as he discovered the collection of pacifiers along the corner of the crib, and he picked one up and put it in his mouth! We were concerned at a couple of points because his feet slipped between the bars and looked like they were caught, but he had no problem.

I had gone up to check on him because he was making funny waking-up noises. Pat was cleaning a pan in the kitchen, but no sooner had I set foot on the stairs than I heard Pat's footsteps coming up the stairs too ... we just treasure these nighttime wakeup times - Graham is so stinking cute. Sure enough, Graham was awake, and we were able to sneak in while his back was turned towards the door, and we assumed watching positions on either end of his crib. I went back downstairs after a couple of minutes. After about 10 more minutes downstairs, I decided to go check on the situation upstairs. I found Pat laying on the floor, and that's where our snickering sessions started.

In the end, Graham rolled over to his tummy, with one arm stuck under his belly - and got pretty frustrated. We were able to swoop in and save the day (we tried to encourage him to pull it out on his own, but in the end we had to help).

What fun!

Update

2008-12-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

Hello folks!

I just updated our Shutterfly site with the rest of our pics over the last few months (Thanksgiving included) - it is so up to date there are even pictures there from this morning! It's true - I took some cute pics of Graham this morning rolling around. There are a lot of pics of the same setting, but for family members especially, they probably won't mind seeing this many of Graham doing the same things. :) To see pictures of Pat with Graham, you'll have to look at the 4 month group of pictures - there don't seem to be a lot of him and G in the more recent groups.

Our dog Lazslow got into a fracas with some barbed wire in a hunting expedition before Thanksgiving. You may notice that in some of the Thanksgiving pictures he's wearing a sock on his foreleg and a sweatshirt shoulder around his neck. All of this is to help him from licking / scratching his wounds, and it worked pretty well. I appreciated it because it stopped people from seeing the big gash on his neck with all the staples and wondering what happened to our Franken-dog (as in Frankenstein - not as in a frankfurter ...).

Here are some pics of the take during one of Pat's hunting expeditions (the other expedition netted 100 birds across 4 guys, but that was at a farm and might be considered "easy hunting" by some). Not so for this expedition - this was true open country hunting, and in my estimation (and in the words of his co-hunters), they did very well. Much credit (and many accolades) was given to Lazslow for his attentive foraging. That's Pat's foot (and I think the butt of his gun) in the lower left corner of the picture of the truck tailgate.

Thanksgiving in Idaho - what a great time!

2008-12-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

We spent Thanksgiving in Idaho this year, as we have for all the years we have been married- except for the year we went to NYC. Graham and I left Friday morning, and Pat and Lazslow left on Tuesday night - and arrived Wednesday monring because (thankfully!) he stopped to sleep on the way. My brother Andrew and his girlfriend Lauren came in on Wednesdsay night and they left after us on Sunday.

We had an amazing time with our family - making memories and impressions that I hope will last for a long time - for all of us. For Graham and me, it was really neat to be able to spend so much time with Mom & Dad / Grandmother & Granddad ... and Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. I think there was definitely some "imprinting" that happened ... meaning that I think he really got to bond with GM & GD ... and Uncle Andrew and Lauren too.

Particular memories that come to mind:

- Bathtime in the kitchen sink ... that right-hand sink proved to be just the right size for our little turkey!

- Watching Australia in the movie theater with a sleeping infant (he slept for 2.5 hrs, then my mom took him out when he woke up).

- Not having to make any meals ... except for one lunch. Actually, this was as tough as it was easy - I really missed cooking in my kitchen!

- Successfully making a really good cheesecake - my first time! Marbled pumpkin - mmm yummy!!

- Having one-on-one time with my Aunt Lu Lu and both girl cousins, Kay Lynn and Laura.

- A great time with family on Thanksgiving ... Graham slept through the main course - waking up for dessert and coffee.

- Getting to see my mom and dad making Graham coo and smile.

- My Aunt Lu Lu's ability to soothe Graham ... during the church service, and at home on Thanksgiving.

- Going out for dinner and coffee with my husband - sans bebe!

- Ability to work on a new project in my mom's craft room; knowing Graham was having a good time with his Grandmother.

- Sharing care-giving for Graham with my mom and dad - something we all really enjoyed.

Pella Iowa November 2-4 (If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much)

2008-11-19T22:46:00.000-08:00

On October 31, my Grandma Esther (my dad's mom) passed away in Pella, IA. She was 86 years old, and she lived a dynamic life, raising a terrific family. My Grandpa Victor died when I was three years old, which means that she had been living without her life-mate for 28 years! I know she's really excited up in heaven to be with Grandpa again.

We found out Saturday, so that morning Graham and I bought reservations and left Sunday to be with the family for the Memorial service. My brother Andy called on his way down to Portland for a party with his girlfriend, and we made a reservation for him to fly along with me and Graham. I was very thankful for the extra set of hands (Andy can now sing the full song "Snuggle Puppy" - without even looking at the book!).

We missed Pat's presence, but I really felt like he was with us the entire time. Pat's sister, Amy, came up from Ames, Iowa, for the memorial service, which was really special. Her son, Ethan, is 8 weeks older than Graham, so it was neat to have the boys together again. Pat's family met Grandma at our wedding, and she really made an impression on the Rank clan. I know they'll miss my grandma too - they could tell she was a special lady.

On Sunday after celebrating her life, and eating the amazing food prepared for us by friends of the Iowa Bettger clan, we all went to the local football field to cheer the Pella Dutchmen to a dramatic win over the opposing team (34-7?). By we all, I mean, all my dad's brothers, his sister, and cousins who were in town. Even my Grandma's 88-year old brother from Hillsboro, OR, and 86-year old sister-in-law from Lodi, CA came along. There were ... let's count them ... 16 of us! 17 when you include Graham! What a cheering squad! It's here that I learned the new family slogan - "It's Better with a G!" Which is a way to explain how to spell our last name, "Bettger" - Better with a G - get it? I think the whole section we were sitting in got it, after my brother and my cousin Ryan yelled it several times!

Here are some pics of our time in Iowa. Graham picked up a sweatshirt to remember his valiant support of the Pella Dutch!

Andy read Moo Baa La La La to Graham during the 45-50 minutes we waited for the CREW to show up for our Portland flight! The second picture is my Great Aunt Toni with her Great Great Nephew!

Here are the two cousins!

Graham was a hit at the football game - he cried for a while during the first half, but once he fell asleep (before half-time), he was asleep until we hit the car after the game! I'm not sure what he's thinking/doing in that picture with Andy!

Those Pella Dutch know how to have fun!!

Our little Turtle ...

2008-11-19T22:34:00.000-08:00

This is Graham's first Halloween. Thankfully he had no interest in candy, but he did probably have chocolate-flavored milk for a few feedings following the evening of the 31st. He slept through the majority of the trick or treaters; with no opportunity to show him off in his cute costume.

We did get him dressed up the next night for a party that was thrown by a co-worker of mine. Here he is in his costume ... pretty stinking cute if you ask me. His expressions are a little bit "I'm not quite sure what's going on ..." and a little bit, "Man, I'm tired, I'm glad I'm wearing my pajamas under this thing ..."

No time to write, but wanted to say ...

2008-11-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

I have two or three ideas for posts backing up - I'm having a hard time finding the time to sit and write ... but I wanted to post a quick note to let you know pics have been updated on Shutterfly. I didn't have time to add comments or change the order, but there are some cute shots out there. There are often a few pics of the same pose/ position, but Graham's facial expressions change so much, they're all fun to see.

Good for a quick glance for a piece of fun.

Just chillin ...

2008-10-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Pat's trying to match Graham's expression.

Just hanging out on a sunny morning ...

Eighteen weeks - goes TOO fast!

2008-10-20T21:52:00.001-07:00

Today was a day I have been dreading. The day I drop my baby off into another woman's arms (Miss Natasha and Miss Colleen were the lucky ladies) and leave for several hours.

It turned that it was not as hard as I had anticipated. This is probably because Graham didn't cry as I left him - I don't think he made the connection that I wasn't coming back right away. We'll see how he does on Wednesday when we go back. I will say, however, that I watched the clock like a hawk all day and raced to my car the minute the clock hit 5 - mincing words with anyone who tried to cordially greet me on my way out the door! My baby is waiting - OUTTA MY WAY!!

When I got there, the teacher had him in a Bumbo seat facing her with two other little ones, singing a song with a puppet. Graham had an enthralled look of joy on his face, with a huge grin and I could hear him cooing along with her. They said he did have kind of a tough day; he'd had moments of tears and he only ate one ounce all day ... but my mother-in-law (and the teachers here) have encouraged me that it's only hard for about 2 weeks, until they settle into the pattern.

Here are a couple of pics of the kinds of fun he had today ... this cute little girl just thinks Graham is the BOMB!!

Four Months Already?

2008-10-20T21:42:00.001-07:00

I just can't believe four months have passed! Graham is officially a "big boy" - as big as you can be when you're just four months old. Here are some pictures I took to commemorate the day - I kept reminding myself to take pictures at inopportune times; and thankfully I remembered after I put him in his pajamas - but BEFORE I put him to sleep!

We go to the 4 month checkup on Friday - I'll post the vital stats once we get them. At 2 months his length was 97th percentile - I think he'll continue to rock the charts there! For weight, he's just about normal. Must be that Bettger blood. He sure has the Rank features - he looks a lot like Pat's baby pictures!!

Sun River, OR

2008-10-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

We met my parents in Sun River last weekend (weekend of the 11th) - it's a longer drive for them from Boise, but they enjoy making it at some point every year when we have get the condo that Pat's company holds for employee rentals. This year we had special leverage in having Graham with us!

It was too cold for biking while Mom & Dad were here. On Monday after they left, we went to Sisters. We sure had a nice time walking around the little town! And also driving past the Three Sisters (beautiful mountains in Central OR - these pics are from a couple of years ago when Pat and I climbed the South Sister with his brother Doug ...) - what a sight to behold!! It was a good day for biking, but we stayed too long; Graham was pretty tired when we returned to Sunriver - instead, we stayed in and watched The Sting on TV - classic Paul Newman!

And yes, in case you're wondering, Graham has started to contemplate sucking on his thumb!

This is me with Graham at breakfast our last day. Graham is wearing an Oshkosh outfit from our friends the Kleebergers. I think the tag says 12 months! I think he likes wearing it - I sure like putting him in it - especially when it's chilly out like it was here!

Stocking hands ...

2008-10-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

Graham slept in our room during a trip to Sunriver over the weekend, and we realized how much he rubbed his head during "active sleep" at night and in the morning. On Sunday we started putting socks over his hands at night, but we did not put them on last night. This morning he woke up with 4-5 scratches on his head from his little hands (and fingernails) rubbing his cradle cap. I winced for him. They don't seem to hurt, but it must feel good to rub it - he also does it when he's dozing in our arms and sometimes when nursing.

So here's a picture for all of you of our little boy sleeping with halloween socks on his hands - orange and green. He also is holding onto his super soft little monkey from Maddie Olmsted ...

We love construction equipment!

2008-10-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't seen the nursery yet, we have used Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel as our nursery theme. And our curtains have construction equipment on them ... and we are accumulating more and more evidence that this is a boy's room, and a boy whose mommy loved Mike Mulligan, and whose daddy works in the construction industry.

Here's our most recent addition - this is a heavy equipment shirt from Graham's Grand-Uncle & Aunt, Ric & Jeri Lu. Thanks - we love it!!

I like the picture of Pat & Graham - very cute of both of them.

Introducing Mr. Lamb

2008-10-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

Greetings friends and family! Allow me to introduce a new member of the Rank family! This is Mr. Lamb. He is a giant stuffed lamb, and he is covered with incredibly soft wool. He was a gift from some friends of ours, the Millers. Pat works with Jeff, and I have enjoyed getting to know Jeff's wife, Lisa. They came to our house to drop off a gift for G - and the gift was taller than Lisa's torso! I love this sweet lamby (lambie? lamb-ee?) - did I mention how soft it is? ... I immediately had images of Graham sitting for photos with the lamb as he grew up to show how big he's getting ...

So I got started!

Sep 15

Sep 19

Sept 26

Sept 30

Out with the dog

2008-10-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

We finally purchased an "umbrella" stroller - the Maclaren Triumph. I like it, and so does Graham - must be more comfortable for him to ride in ... I think it must be a rougher ride - it bumps along over every crack in the sidewalk. Maybe it's just a more interesting experience for him. In any case, I am happy that I can actually make it through the whole way to the park without having to stop to try to see if the pacifier will help him stop crying - he doesn't even make a peep!

OR ... maybe it's the hat ...

In any case, it doesn't have a rain cover - YET - which means we'll still be using the Chariot ... that stroller is an all-weather, all-terrain vehicle!!

Just to be sure ...

2008-10-04T15:18:00.001-07:00

Just want to be sure you all see that I posted three posts on the 3rd ... yes, over-zealous, I suppose, but the third post down has pictures that really shouldn't be missed; so I want to make sure you see them!

October 3, 3:42 pm

2008-10-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

Graham just rolled over! Tummy to back! I'm trying to see if we can get a repeat, but having a hard time! WOW! Milestone!!

M

Want to get set up to leave Comments on blogs?

2008-10-03T15:37:00.000-07:00

My mom-in-law, Laura, has said she will try to leave more comments on the blog, and since we're trying to post more and because we love responses because we hope to publish this stuff for our family some day; I thought I'd put directions for how to create an account for those of our readers who aren't already active bloggers. Wow, that was one long run-on sentence, and I'm not quite sure how to edit it in order to have it make more sense.

In short, here are instructions to create a Google Account (note - you do not need to have a gmail account) so you can leave comments!

Okay ... here we go. What you see may be slightly different from these instructions, since I tried to fake this even though I already have an account).
(1) To get started, click Sign in at the top right corner of your screen. This takes you to www.blogger.com.
(2) Skip entering username or password, and just click Sign In, then click Create an account now.
(3) Enter your current e-mail address - it doesn't have to be a gmail / google address - it can be hotmail, yahoo, etc.
(4) Pick a password, and enter it twice, as requested.
(5) Pick your location (i.e., USA).
(6) Type in the word for verification (this always makes me laugh, because they use words like, "clatserp, hootsubs, tueccatc ..." Funny)
(7) Accept the terms (click the button and it will kick you into the next window).
(8) I'm not sure if you have to do anything more from here because I didn't want to create a new account, but I think after this your account should be active and you're ready to post comments!

To post Comments after you've created your account:
(1) Click the Comments line. This opens a window where you can read everyone else's comments and leave one of your own. As a note, it asks you if you want to display non-secure items. If you say Yes, it will show the pictures of the commenters; if you say No, there won't be any pictures (it's more of a personal preference, I guess - maybe pics make it take longer?)
(2) So when you get to this window, there's a section called, Leave your comment. Write in your notes/ thoughts, etc., then enter your username & password, then click Publish Your Comment. You might also be asked to verify some word again.

That should be it. Pretty easy once you do it a couple of times.

If you have any questions, click Help. Or maybe you can ask me. I might be able to help.

Update!!

2008-10-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, first of all, I'm not sure how many of you are frequently checking the blog for updates, but I want to apologize for not updating in so long! I know how frequently I check other friends' blogs to look for updates - so if you're like me, sorry it's been so long in between my posts. I have been trying to upload a movie of Graham grabbing his toys hanging from baby links in our back seat on the way back from ID. We were so proud that we taped it, but we can't share it due to technical difficulties (I'll figure it out someday ...).

We are all doing well here. Graham has had a good week, full of lots of sleeping (I love it!) and book reading. He talks along with me when we read - especially when we read The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle). I think he's looking at the pictures on the pages - which just warms my heart to no end!! And with The Very Hungry Caterpillar, he touches the pages (probably because they're so big!!) Thank you to Rachel's Abueluli (Grandma Lourdes Mike) for such a great addition to our collection!

Pretty cute, huh? I hope he becomes quite the reader.

I do have to share two more pictures - of two very special gifts we received. The first is of Graham with a construction equipment blanket from a special friend in Boise, Phyllis Pullman. Phyllis used to be the office secretary at our church in Boise, and she is a constant presence in many of my memories from church growing up. The second is of Graham wearing a new hat that was knitted for us by our good friend Kimberlee Olmsted. Her timing of delivery is perfect, as we are just hitting fall and he needs a fun warm hat. This hat is fantastic not just because of its adorable shape or cool boy colors, but because it will grow with him! We are thinking it will be something he can wear at least into next year! How fun!!

Enjoy the pics!!

Back to work parttime in October ...

2008-09-23T16:33:00.001-07:00

I will be starting work again in October. Monday, October 20 will be my first day back. I will be working part-time - Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Graham will be in daycare those days ... and I am sure the first day will be pretty hard for both of us. Thankfully the daycare is just a short walk away from home, so Graham and I will be visiting it regularly in the next few weeks to get him acclimated to the culture, the room, and the teachers. And once I'm back to work, I can visit him during the day; I can even pop over to breastfeed him! Nice stress-reliever there.

I'm really thankful for the ability to work part-time. I think it will be good for me to be working some ... but I'm really glad that I'll be home too on Tues & Fri ... there's a lot I want to do with my time; foremost of which is to be with Graham - and watching him develop and grow into his own person!

Please pray for us as we all prepare for this upcoming transition. It will be interesting!

First trip to Boise!

2008-09-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday evening and we're in Boise, ID. Pat, Graham and my dad are out for their first bike ride. Graham's first bike ride, that is. We have a Chariot Cougar that we have been using as a stroller, and it also attaches to the back of a bike ... it's quite the convertible unit (http://www.chariotcarriers.com/). We've been using the infant sling and Graham has done really well in it so far (just walking, not yet riding). Pat brought his bike and all the equipment to hook the trailer up, and he's been really eager to get Graham out for a bike ride.

So, I have my dad's computer on the kitchen table eagerly (anxiously?) keeping a lookout for their return. They do have a flag on the trailer, and they are being careful ... and he is dressed warmly - with a blanket ... but I am still sitting here anxiously awaiting their safe return. I didn't have a chance to snap a pic, but I will dart out as soon as they get back. Graham was about to fall asleep when I buckled him into the trailer, so I'm sure he's calm and sleeping in the back. That makes me feel more comfortable than worrying that he's squalling back there!

Enough about that! Today my parents had an open house for us, and we got to see some good family friends and old high school friends. We had a really nice time. My mom sure knows how to host a party and lay out a tasty (and healthy) spread! I am posting some pictures from the day, with some of our friends who got to meet Graham for the first time. He did really well, charming the folks and chattering to them ... telling them all about his day and how much he loves visiting Boise.

Oh! They just got back from the bike ride! I just ran out to take a picture, they're all in one piece, and Graham is still warm. He was crying when I got out there, but they told me he just started as they were pulling into the drive way; that he had been sleeping for quite a while. All's safe here, and that's one adventure successfully accomplished. Note to Joe O'Brien: Pat mentioned that he might have to try to one-up you for your record of having the youngest summiteer when you and he took Cole up the South Sister at 2 years. I just don't know if I like that idea. We'll see.

Armond and Betty Taylor were great friends with my grandparents and have been a significant part of my memories and spiritual growth from the time I was as old as Graham is now!!

Dave & Betty Willman are also good friends of the family, and have been really special to both Andy and me as we have grown al0ngslide their grandchildren.

This is Tim Grissom, learning to hold a baby ... he and his wife Liz are expecting a little girl in 8 weeks! He will also be a new uncle (again) in several months. See how happy Graham is with him? He started crying when Tim handed him to Liz. Go Tim! You've got the "Daddy comfort" down!

Grandmother Kathy

Here are the returning cyclists - they have successfully initiated Graham into the world of cycling. We'll see how he does from here - maybe I'll take him out next!

Things we see in Graham - Part 1

2008-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

The pediatrician who examined Graham in the hospital told us that she spent time journaling for each of her children during their childhood; making observations about their activities and preferences and personality development. She has seen many of their personality traits and personal preferences remaining through young adulthood, and her kids have found her observations to be really special. I may not be journaling as much as I could be, but I am blogging! Here are some things that I've noticed so far with Graham.

Starting really early on, Graham has cried before going to sleep - whether for a quick nap or for the night. We are able to help him with a pacifier and a favorite CD, and we soothe him down to relaxation and bring him close to sleepy-land, but it has struck me that he really enjoys observing what's going on around him. He has a hard time leaving the big world even for a few short winks.

Graham has really started talking. He is cooing and gurgling and smiling, and frowning. He's using the bl sound, m sound, gl sounds, all of which just make Pat and me smile and chuckle. He hasn't started laughing yet, but when we respond to some of his coos and loud noises with a noise or comment of our own, we get a little frown in response - it's like he's logging our response away inside of his head for further analysis later. Perhaps to keep him company when he's sleeping. :)

He's starting to wake up happy and quiet ... not just crying. This has been a lot of fun too, because it's much more fun to wake in the morning to cheerful chirps and twitters than to a loud crying banshee!

Graham has noticed Lazslow (our dog). We have a few pictures and videos of Graham in the swing when Lazslow walks by. He studies Lazslow from head to toe, with a studious look on his face ... here's my imagination of his thoughts, "now, this is a creature of a different sort ... not like the others I've seen in my short time ... furrier, longer face, something long hanging out of the mouth, and what's that thing wagging all around on the hind end?" Okay, maybe a little deep for a 13 week old, but Hey! He sure does look interested in Lazslow. I can't wait until they can play together! It will be good for both of them.

That's it for now ... more thoughts and observations to come. We have a pretty great kid on our hands, and there are lots of things we love about him.

Our Handy Boy ...

2008-09-05T12:39:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Graham has found his hands!! Yes, this weekend in the car on our way back from the coast, we caught him gazing at his hands ... in great admiration and curiosity. He is bonking himself on the head with his newfound appendages, and he's enjoying batting at things - he's still using a closed fist, which naturally is not very productive, but he's having fun!

It's natural that Graham would be enamored with his hands - they were constantly by his face in the womb, and the midwife thinks that based on the way he came out, he had his hand on his cheek as he was born! Since then, they still are a huge means of soothing for him - he just loves to have them near his face.

Here's a picture of Graham watching his newfound friends on the floor in his room ... doesn't he look fascinated? I can't wait to watch him continue to discover as he keeps growing & developing!

Nicknames

2008-09-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

Thus far in his life, Graham has picked up several nicknames, as babies often do. I thought it would be fun to record them for posterity. Let me know if I've forgotten one of your favorites!

Baby G (we have one little 2 year old friend who refuses to call Graham anything but Baby G)
Big G
Sweet Baby
Grammers
Grammer Man
Big Man ... aka Biggie (this is Pat's nickname for him)
Sweetey Peetey
Sweetey Peetey Chicken Eatey (both of these are mine, and I have no idea where Chicken Eatey came from - it just rolled off my tongue one day)

I think Grammers has stuck - it is a pretty nice nickname - short and sweet!

Molly

Poop, glorious POOP

2008-08-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Brand new babies know how to display poop, in all it's glory. From the very first weird tarry black meconium, to the mustard-yellow poop of breast-fed babies, they expose their parents to wild new adventures. For the first few weeks of his life, Graham was an effective and timely pooper, pooping after (or during) every feeding. This made for small little portions, quite manageable with a few wipes, and since we were using disposable diapers at the time, they were easily tossed into the trash.

Then Graham entered a new phase, where his poops come every other day. This makes for quite an adventure, as they're a little bit more intense. When he awakens from naps on the predestined day, I walk hesitantly into the room, sniffing the air for the sign that this will be one of "those" diaper changes.

And now for a story about poop (you knew a story was coming, didn't you?). A few weeks ago, our church, Mosaic, had an all-church service and picnic at a local Portland high school. Pat and I knew in advance that this was one of "those" days, but we were hoping Graham would save the goods for us when we got home.

We were sitting around with our friends talking about life with kids - Graham was quietly sitting in his new Chariot Cougar stroller enjoying the day ... when all of a sudden, he started to cry. I looked over, surprised to see such an quick change in temperament, and noticed some yellow ooze making it's way dangerously close to the stroller straps. Quickly I hollered - "He's christening the stroller!" I unstrapped him from the stroller in record time, and a friend was laying out his changing pad, when one of the guys across the group yelled - "It's DRIPPING!" Sure enough, right as my friend moved her hand, a little dollop of yellow mustard poop landed on the changing pad.

I tell you ... what an adventure. We all got a good laugh ... and Pat got a few horrified looks in a few minutes when Pat reached into the back of the stroller, and brought his hand out covered in a yellow pasty substance which he proceeded to clean off with his tongue! Picnics and mustard - they go hand in hand, and make for very fun poop jokes!

In conclusion, although I realize that more frequent episodes mean more wiping and rinsing of yellow nastiness, I am looking forward to Graham joining the ranks of daily poopers ... maybe the portions will be smaller!

Uncles ARE just as important as Grandparents!

2008-08-29T11:02:00.001-07:00

I was reminded that I forgot to include reference and pictures of Andy - and his girlfriend Lauren who were also here last weekend. We enjoy our time with Andy ... Graham responds well to his soothing - maybe it's because Andy sings to him, great songs - including our family favorite, "I'm My Own Grandpa" (maybe we'll publish the lyrics here someday), and another old standard, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. You can see how Graham watches him with great curiosity!

Oh, and Andy, read my most recent comment to the last post ...

Fun with Family ...

2008-08-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

Wanted to share some quick pics of our time with family over the past month. There are more on our shutterfly site (see links on the left of the blog window).

Grandmother and Granddad Bettger came into town this weekend and spent some time with Graham. They fell in love (again) immediately on arrival - Graham is just finding out how fun it is to smile, and Grandmother & Granddad loved every one. My brother Andy and his girlfriend Lauren were also coming through town for a wedding in Salem, so we got to spend some time Friday and Saturday with them.

Saturday was full of projects for Pat and Dad. We also hit the UL Employee Picnic, where Graham was an admired attendee. Sunday, we walked the Pearl District together, eating at two fun restaurants, and enjoying the boutiques and shops. At a local cooking store, I tried (unsuccessfully) to convince Pat to buy me a new knife. I have cut myself a few times while cooking in the past couple of years (not bad cuts, mind you), so Pat thinks that I will be even more dangerous with a sharp knife. I doubt it. Just imagine how much more effective I would be at cooking!

A couple of weeks ago, we spent several days in Iowa with my extended family (Uncle Ken & Aunt Pam) and my grandma Esther (Graham's Great Grandma). We also visited with Pat's family, staying with his sister Amy and brother-in-law, Jode (and their 3 month old, Ethan). Pat's parents and sister Erin & brother-in-law, Tom and their 2 year old daughter Olivia came down from Wisconsin. This was a great trip for us - excellent time with family, even though the heat and humidity were pretty intense. Graham is now an experienced flier (and we have been through the experience of flying with an infant). Thanks everyone for hosting!

Here's Granddad Tom hanging out with Graham on Friday.

This is us walking in the Pearl after eating a quick bite at Fenouil next to one of Portland's coolest community fountains.
We had an early dinner at the Deschutes Brewery restaurant. So good! We will be eating there again! There's a much shorter wait at 3:30 pm on a Sunday than the last time we tried to eat here.

Here's Graham hanging out in the back seat with the grandparents.

Here I am with my Grandma Esther (Graham's Great Grandma Esther)

Here are the new parents - Jode, Amy & Ethan, and Pat, Molly & Graham

Welcome to our blog ...

2008-07-22T17:44:00.000-07:00

The days do fly by! And precious they are. We have now officially been parents for 9 weeks. Graham Thomas was born June 17 at 1:13 am. He weighed 8 lbs 13 oz, and was 21 inches long. He was born in the water - an incredible experience for both him and us, I'm sure.

He has visited or been visited by many people, including both sets of grandparents and his Uncle Andrew from Seattle. He has met his Great Uncle & Aunt Ric and Jeri Lu - and twoof his first-cousins-once-removed, Laura, and Greg from Boise. More like Aunts and Uncles than cousins! We've been to Iowa where Graham met some of his Rank Aunts & Uncles, and some Bettger Great Aunts & Uncles and first-cousins-once-removed (we'll call those FCORs)- as well as a very special visit with Great Grandma Esther Bettger. Soon pictures will be posted at our Shutterfly site ... www.warankphotos.shutterfly.com.

Thoughts, observations, and comments on parenting thus far:

Graham sure looks a lot like Pat. He may take on some of my features as he gets older, but right now it looks like he's very much Pat, with a little bit of Andy thrown in there for good measure (which means he might have a little of my Grandad's good looks).
It's incredible watching Pat interact with Graham. Graham will just gaze at his daddy for long minutes at a time. Pat is a natural father - he just glows when Graham is watching him ... it's a new phase for me in an already wonderful relationship - watching my husband falling in love with our son and reveling in the excitement for both of them.
Things other than his daddy that Graham loves to gaze at: light, corners of the room, contrasting colors ... his mommy (yes me too!)
In his first few weeks, Graham suffered from Male Pattern Baldness. He lost the hair on top of his head and only had a few more hairs on the right side of his head, the top of his head, and the back of his head. We used to give him a cute little "faux-hawk" where we spiked all of his hair culminating in a cute little Alfalfa hair cowlick in the back - until I realized the hair was coming out in my fingers. Now he just has the Alfalfa spike - no more faux-hawk.
He's a good little tooter (I'm including this one because I can hear him right now over the baby monitor). It's fun to watch him make incredible facial expressions, which always make us wonder what he's thinking ... only to find out he's been trying to work out a little (or lound) toot. Definitely all "boy" there!
We can't tell what color the new hair is (yes it is coming back!). It might be blond or light brown.
We can't tell what color his eyes will be, but Aunt Cheryl and Aunt Pam think they definitely have some brown in them. I'd love for them to be brown ... Bettger brown, like Grandpa Tom!
He loves to have his hands by his face. While sleeping (if he's not swaddled), while nursing, while hanging out, he enjoys his hands ... but he hasn't started sucking any fingers yet!
He's starting to smile! Yes, finally, our boy is giving us generous huge smiles with his gaping toothless mough, with bright eyes and sweet little coos. We can't help but just beam right back at him.

Well, it's been a while since I started this blog post. About 2 weeks in fact. I've thought a lot about how blogging is read by so many people, and felt a bit of pressure to make sure my comments are insightful, clever, fun to read. Then I realized that if I delay in capturing thoughts and sharing pictures, I will never get anything posted, and the days, thoughts, and memories will fly by without being recorded. So here goes ... enjoy our blog!

I look forward to sharing thoughts with all of you ... and hearing your comments in return. Please use the comments feature and share your thoughts back with us! You can also view our pictures at www.warankphotos.shutterfly.com, and share comments there as well.

Cheers,

M for all